Kinda cute. But too much first person changing and not knowing where the character changes were

awesome!

That is a good freaken story, and you do not just sto it right there.

how did he put him in a bed that was wet?

This was an interesting take on some well used themes; I liked Dumbledore being Minerva's father.

If you wish to develop your writing then I would suggest exploring different ways of saying things. Sometimes if one goes with the first and most direct explanation of what is happening it comes out like a dull list of actions, which this does often. That is not to say that the story is bad - there is a difference between story and writing ability. You have constructed the story adequately (although the ending was somewhat abrupt and the acceptance under explored) but your writing requires much attention.

Good Luck.

Its really good, i love the ending. I think snape was out of caracter, but he tends to be in these fice, on the whole a brilliant story

Hey! Long time no talk. (this is Calistal) My e-mail has changed to theatrechickwehs I'd still like to talk to you. If you have MSN mine is psalmist88 if you have AIM Mine is SweetChick4100 and if you have ICQ mine is 124678397 and if you have Yahoo mine is groovey26 Wow. that's a lot . Well, give me a hollar. I only live about an hour and a half away from you.

DaughteroftheDawn

i love it.

wow that's the end? short and sweet and right to the point! I loved it! Make more!

oh my gosh! I love the story. (i haven't even read the chapter yet) but i found out you live in west virginia. so do i.

that is so kewl! well i love the story! it's fabulous.

ok..weird

all i can say is awsome

If u do don't rite a sequel i swear i will personally hex u!

this is a good story. great job with it.

I wish I could write as great as you! I loved the story!