Very beautiful, congratulations, keep writing

Humm...well, your punctuation wasn't really all that good, since the first sentence was basically a run on, and then you completely overused the commas. While the grammar isn't that bad.

But the fact that you kinda abused the commas just turned me off it completely. Plus it was way too short.

Dear lord! What was that? The commas! They were nowhere to be seen! And when you DID use them they were way overused. It was insane! I couldn't even sit there and stand to read it all! It was nuts! Well, I'm ending it here due to the fact that I have a life and no time to sit here and continue to flame you run-on story.

Latios dragonrider

Well... it wasn't written very well, and you tried to use phrases like 'tore asunder', which stuck out because the rest of it wasn't that good. I can tell that you tried, though; next time, make it more detailed, but not run-on.

Lucilla and Maximus's love story isn't written about enough in the fanfic! Good job :)

Ok thanx 4 the little thing nice. I like your ff. I think I'll put up my next chapter some time. Screw BIGMOUTH Screw BIGMOUTH. KILL#1 KILL#1.