Will you expand this story? The plot is amazing.

Only discovered these stories for pic challenge recently. I've been trying to read each one. This is the 3rd out of 27 that I felt deserved a review. Wonderful story. Really impressed w/ your writing. Wish you would have continued this, it deserves a proper finish. But, whatever. Thank you for writing.

hey! i just read your story... so are you going to keep with it? its really good and intriguing.. heartbreaking and adictive... hope ypur good, take care.

Disturbing. But I think that was the point. Are you not continuing as stated?

Oooohhh... I usually hate angst... but I make the odd exception, and WOW is this intriguing. Love it, and can't wait for more.

i just simply adored you story...it was so moving so realisticaly written, like we are there alongside the characters...i can't wait to read what will follow...don't keep us waitin' too long.

OMG! THIS STORY!... WOW! GREAT!

when will you post the mini chap for this O/s?

I really liked this one shot, but until I know more about EPOV, I find I don't like him very much. Here we have a girl who has had a really shitty life, and fate has really given her some really shitty hands and she's just trying to cope the best she can. For all we know, Edward went back to partying, living it up, and screwing around. I'm sure that's the case. Two TOTALLY different playing fields here. Bella deserves better than that if my assumptions are correct. She doesn't deserve a rich, conceited manwhore (most athletes are) and if I was her, I'd find someone worth my heart. For him to leave the way he did and try to get over her any way he could, which I'm sure was through sports, drugs, money, alcohol, and women while she sat home with a baby, going to school, and trying to mend her broken heart seems so unbalanced. He'll never be worthy of her, and if my feeling is correct, I bet he's engaged or something and being pressured into marrying, just from the little clues given. So while he's sexin it up, she takes care of a dying little boy. No. He will never be good enough for her, and I hope she sees that she's worth someone that would stay by her side and treat her with the respect she deserves...

This was a fab entry Hun. So heart breakingly sad, but beautifully written.

I had an inkling from the beginning that she was raped, but to hear her finally say it was so painful.

Add to that her sick son and the loss of Alice, and I don't know how she is still standing :(

I do have one burning question though. WHat does this mean?

"I didn't come here on a fucking business trip. I came here to find you. There's something I needed to see for myself if I am to make the choice they want me to make!"

Who are 'they' and what choice are they asking him to make? The first thought that popped into my head was some sort of arranged marriage, but... I don't know...

Can't wait for the next chapter Hun :)

Bella has been through so much and deserves some happiness. I'm glad Edward had her in his head for so long and matured enough to come back. Can't wait to read more.

God, how much can Bella take? Apparently a lot. And now Edward is there as well, to make things better? worse?

Looking forward to reading more of it.

Wow, this was quite a powerful piece. You really made me feel for Bella's character, and I like how at the end, Edward shows her that he will make things better in her life.

This paragraph, was possibly my favourite:

I was the vulnerable one where he was strong. I was the fish he had caught, and the one he would throw back to the water once he was done admiring it. His pity for me would make him throw me back where I could live instead of dying to his appetite. The scar from his hook would leave an indelible scar, but alas, I would survive...in his eyes. And he would be the hero.

I especially liked the part where it said 'I would survive..in his eyes'. That says a lot there.

Good luck with the contest!

What an awesome story! You've let me with more questions than you've answered though so I'm glad to hear you plan on expanding this after the contest.

What an awful, dark place Bella has been in. I can't imagine a life that feels like such a tease, losing so many things over so few years. I'm also very curious to hear something of Edward's life. Right now all we have is Bella's perception of him, which could be completely off.

Thanks so much for sharing this story with the rest of us. I look forward to reading more and wish you the best of luck in the contest.

Good story. It was immediately apparent that Brady was the result of Bella being raped. And that Edward had feelings for her but was indeed a 20 yr old that didn't know what to do. I'm wondering what profession Edward is in. Law enforcement of some kind or maybe a lawyer? Guessing he now wants to track down whoever raped Bella and kill them. Guessing she knows who it was. Was it someone she dated? Someone from school? He needs to make a decision about something important and wonder if it involves moving to the immediate area? Is he looking to find out if it's love he felt for Bella and if it is what he wants to do about it? So many questions. Will be looking forward to reading the story.