Larry F's new address at:

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[All of your links were eaten by QuickEdit. It's evil, doing that, but this appears on a few of your stories so I'm assuming you're not aware of the clipping. You can get around that, but it's difficult.]

I answered

[Missing closing period]

I wanted to think of her and her kind as things.

[A dark and cold psychological defense mechanism that brings a higher sense of reality to the story.]

particular dark

[particularly]

realizing there were things going on that I did not know about.

[Standard procedure of life.]

second time, on the same new target, as the first.

[The commas both look superfluous, but the second one especially breaks up a contiguous idea. I'd delete them both.]

I was an agony,

[It]

How dare she feel remorse for me when she showed none to Ranma! She was incapable of any feelings like that! She was evil. I knew it. It was all a trick she was using to try to lower my guard with sympathy.

[How very human.]

and then for some inexplicable reason my vision blurred, or so it seemed since I was unable to make out her fist clearly. And then my guts exploded in pain.

[This was an interesting representation of an amaguriken volley of punches, though with all the training Akane had I might have expected her to be able to see the rapid succession of blows. Might, especially with the rage you mention that was increasingly consuming her it makes sense that she wouldn't progress that far.]

I laughed harder. The look of bewilderment made the pain of failure almost worthwhile. Well, not really, but it was the only measure of revenge I was going to get.

[The bitter tang of revenge, a double-bladed blade that cuts both ways.]

"No! she said

[Missing closing quote marks]

She gave one last look, full of pain, towards me, then screamed. At first it sounded like a 'no', then the denial became something more akin to a primal howl that managed to shake even me to the very core of my being. Afterwards, Mr. Saotome and Father said it was the exact same cry I had given when I'd held Ranma's broken body in my arms. It took me a moment to understand what had happened: Shan Pu finally knew the truth as well.

[A coldly appropriate way of bringing things full circle.]

hopping more than walking since I had broken my ankle in my fall from her attack.

[What about that kick that 'nearly broke' Akane's leg?]

Do you think we weren't the same? We were in all the ways that mattered. Shan Pu had been crippled by following her laws. I had been crippled by taking the path of vengeance.

[Strange how those things wove together, in a very real manner.]

I curse Shan Pu for following those stupid laws instead of her heart and darkening all of our lives.

[I guess everybody was screwed, then.]

I curse Ranma for being a coward and lying to her about what he was instead of telling the truth and trying to deal with the situation.

[I always wonder what would've happened if he'd done that.]

I've come to think that compassion is not something one should ever feel ashamed to have.

[Hard to tell]

Wow. That was a very interesting introspective piece that did an excellent job of showing the cold, the delay of dealing with the pain inside by trying to turn it into another emotion and obsessing on that. There's few pieces that take the Ranmaverse characters and truly take a look at them as _humans_ (part of that is that Ranma is a comedy and it intrinsically ignores many elements of reality while magnifying others), but this was very well done.

Really amazing. Wow. The emotion that you displayed was really deep. I must say that this was one of the truly most excellent stories I have ever read.

Why doesn't Akane just use the Nan Ban Mirror to go back and change past?

A bit dark for my tastes, but very well done.

The story was good, I'll say that, but I think that there were too many loop holes, per say. First off, what i'm not sure I understand the reason for Akane's extreme emotion. True, Shampoo did kill him, but you wrote at the end that they had known each other for too short of a time for her to be in love with him. Also, towards the end you spoke of her living a normal life and all, but her injuries would have done something to her I'm sure. I mean, it seemed that they were rather serious (i mean she went blind in one eye, some bones were shattered (i don't know how well shattered bones) If u fix that, then the story would be even better

Truly magnificent piece! Emotionally moved as Akane recounted what had happened to her in the past to her present happiness. Excellent!

Sorry about the missing dialogue. For some odd reason, it cut out everything in . I cut the brackets out and tried reloading twice, but Shampoo's dialogue still doesn't appear. I'm at a loss of what to do. All I can say is you might have to visit one of my websites to get the missing bits, which are kind of necessary to understand the story.

Well written but depressing. Fairly pointless.

this was an enjoyable read when I first found it on your website, and it is still enjoyable now.

i am somewhat annoyed, however, with the fact that you still haven't corrected the mistakes of Shampoo's missing speech. Since she does speak in the fic, and her comments are missing in other places, i can not believe that this was an intentional stylistic choice rather than a case of sloppy proofreading.

besieds that, though, still a god fic. a shampoo fic, no less, the charecter you seem to write best.