Aw, that was really cute! I liked it a lot, and it was good, but you really shouldn't put author's notes in the actual story, it disrupts the mood you have created in the reader.

This is so CUTE!

I love what you did with these characters! *_*

Is this just a one shot? cuz I don't read those because they generally make me sad and wanting more. Sorry, if I'm bugging you. I greatly enjoy reading this and want you to POST MORE SOON! Unless your'e dead of course, which means, I'm REALLY SORRY!

Hey, I'm sorry to be so late on this. The truth is I read the story about a week after receiving your message but decided I'd come back, reread and review in a few days. I just got lazy and busy and now I'm getting to it.

Anyway, I definitely liked the story. The characters were very nicely written. I'm not sure if they were out of character so much, things seemed to line up fine. James was all handsome and charming and Lily was exasperated and annoyed.

I actually really liked that it wasn't completely predictable and cliche. Certain things maybe, but dialogue and the writing style were funny so we could laugh with it.

Lily's focus on her classwork and deciding to leave the spot under the tree instead of arguing with James were some things that made me like the scenarios and her character. Even Lily just gets tired of dealing with him and doesn't have it in her to rant 24/7, right?

I like that at the end James is still James and leaves to "go gloat to the Marauders on his latest accomplishment". What an arrogant guy, huh? ]

Your writing is great, so I hope you get inspired to write more.

xoxo

Hey there - reviewing at your request. :)

I see from your profile that this is the first Lily/James fic you've written, and I think this was a good start - short, not overly dramatic, not taking yourself too seriously. In my opinion, humour fits these two best, anyway. :P

I think you have their characters down fine, but the shortness of your story only allows you to show one side of each of them, which is a bit of a drawback. It might have been nice to show them having a conversation that wasn't totally confrontational/insulting, just to get a sense that there's more to them as people and as a potential couple (although, thinking back on my own L/J story, I don't think I ever included a conversation like that, so I probably shouldn't be talking). But then again, most of the people reading this should have an idea of their general characters anyway, so it's not that big a deal.

The story is a bit cliché, but sometimes it's okay to sacrifice some originality for a touch of cuteness, and this was definitely cute. I also love your title. :)

If you should decide to try something else with Lily and James, which I encourage you to do, I'd like to see you try a slightly more serious, longer story - either that or something that's more like a drabble. I find it's nice to see the denial and the necessary kiss, but it's also nice to see the development that leads to them, which you can't really touch on in a story of this length.

A couple of nitpicky things: I only noticed it once, but watch your verb tenses - you wrote "James raises his eyebrows" although the rest of the story is in past-tense. It might just have been a typo, but in any case, always try to proofread as carefully as possible before posting. I'm certainly not perfect that way either. Also, I really advise against putting A/Ns in the middle of a story - they just disrupt the reader's flow as they're going through and enjoying your writing. If you really want to say something about a specific line, save it for the end.

I hope I've been of some help, not that I claim to be an expert on Lily and James or anything (quite the contrary). Good job on this - it's fun and it's an accomplishment. I know how daunting it can be to try writing about a new pairing; I sure felt that way with my own Lily/James fic. Keep writing! :)

OH MY GOD, THIS IS SO CUTE!

This reminds me sooo much of you and your James... *wink wink*

Tomorrow's going to be a field day for me AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

This is amazinggg. I love it. Good job!