Another chapter, another horrible monster? I'm sensing a theme, but I can't quite place my finger on it.

Next chapter should be VERY interesting, what with all the options on how to handle Township!

Oh boy, does this bring back old memories, and by memories I mean one annoying boss battle. Due to bad luck, Ryu would always be mind controlled in my party and end up knocking out Nina or Katt with a critical (I had to punch myself every time this happened). By the way, I cannot help but wonder what Ryu said while being possessed by the terrapin. Great job on this chapter, your skills in delineating battles are amazing. Except for a missing period near the end (sorry to be the Grammar Police here), I'd say this chapter is about perfect.

That was impeccably well done. I especially enjoyed how you handled the Terrapin fight, how the people it controlled acted in accordance with their "shadows", the sides of themselves they don't want to admit to having. Especially Sten, I always like it when you manage to work in that extra bit of foreshadowing into the narrative.

I like Sten! There seems to be an unwritten rule that every group of heroes must have one 'Lech', but you've kept him diverse so far, and in keeping with his past he's actually quite the butt-kicker. We'll see how his other unique ability comes into play later I'm sure.

Heartbreaker in Windia Castle, even with the bad translation of the original game. I thought for a while you'd have some bigoted Windian OC show up to exemplify all of the superstitions and tragedy you had the characters explain instead, but I suppose the queen's reaction says enough right there. That 'this' Nina has any self-esteem at all is a miracle.

If I recall, this is also the time when nighttime-exclusive enemies like the huge Chiroru start showing up. Impressively you've managed to give some detail on virtually every minor enemy so far, good luck with the next chapter introducing the first Shaman along with certain... other plot elements.

Great chapter. It's nice to see that such a fantastic RPG still lives on thanks to dedicated authors such as yourself, and to find fanfics with well developed stories is rare. I like the way the characters' personalities are developing, most notably Nina's, and the portrayal of Sten was better than I imagined. It was pretty difficult imagining Nina covered in a cloak, considering the size of her wings, lol. The end felt slightly rushed, but other than that, bravo. Looking forward to the next chapter, so best of luck!

Nice, but in the battle with the Lizardmen at the end, you accidentally called Sten Spar. Happens to me all the time

Very nice. Reorganizing when we find out about the whole "Ryu and Nina from the first game hooking up" bit, and that's as good an explanation for how that screwed up the Great Bird ability as any I've ever heard.

Ouch, poison poison everywhere. Selling Nina into Infinity? I thought the existence of demons and their world was a secret to most people. Nasty implications if folks like Joker do that often.

"Who is the boss' father's sister's cousin's roommate?" I can never get the 'relation' puzzle right in that dungeon, but it sounds like they still try to trick you with the spider either way.

Your profile comment sounds about right- if you go into this much detail for every dungeon this story will easily be the longest one you've ever done. Not a bad thing, I just hope you can keep it up for that long. Good luck.

Wow, Katt found out about Ladon that simply? Ah well, they have more important things to worry about like, say, dressing up as thieves and sneaking into a wretched hive of scum and villainy! Nice touch on that stealthy approach in this chapter, and I also like the relationships you're building between Ryu and his new comrades. You charmer, Ryu...surrounded by three girls already and all eagerly listening to his story! _

Once again, an exemplary job well done. I take back what I said earlier regarding your take on Nina, her inner nature is shining through just fine. Also, nicely done fleshing out the Joker gang and establishing another bit of foreshadowing.

Aaron Allston is one of my favorite all-time authors, but a common criticism of his work I think is valid is that he makes nearly every character wisecrack at every opportunity.

That's what this reminded me of. That IS my favorite kind of character, granted, but between Ryu, Bow, Deis, Niro, Rand, Katt, Nina, Mina, the elder and court jester Sten on the way, it's starting to feel like any character could have made those cracks. They kind of blend together without much to set them apart so far.

Not sure how Nina will develop in the future but for now not actually being sarcastic in her apology sounds more in-tune for someone like her. She had ample reason to blast them, but she would still apologize to them anyway- some people are like that. Sorry, by the way. I really liked the history lesson on the various 'Breaths' and how inter-clan marriages were prohibited. And of course, that has to have some connection to the previous Nina and Ryu's relationship, and why it was that he turned against Ladon. We'll see what the future holds...

Katt's adventures in being awesome are joined by her being adorable. I really like how she and Ryu have gotten on so far, but I can only assume things are going to get...tense soon.

Hmmm, I'm of mixed feelings on this chapter actually; it was well written and paced, but your characterization of Nina seemed off to me. Maybe you'll have it come through later, but in the game Nina is someone who has no real sense of self worth, and that didn't come through in this part, at least in my mind.

An entire chapter almost gone and WOOP, it turns out Katt can hear Ladon too. That was an amusing little surprise. But, more importantly, I sensed the beginnings of sweet amor rising in Ryu as he looked upon Nina. Truly, life repeats itself, such sweet serendipity.

Keep up the excellent work! :)

There you go, excellent fights with both Katt and Augus. I figured you'd give Ray an expanded role with plenty of interesting developments in his future.

Augus truly is the epitome of everything warped about the popularity of blood sports. I also found him to be one of the hardest fights in the game due to his double-attack and high power so early on, plus the fact that you lack any good healers at the time. Even harder if you mess up and have to fight him with just Ryu and Rand.

It feels like you're sticking closer to the original 'story' than the last few times, but we'll see what lies ahead with the Dragon Clan and St. Eva. It's good material either way. Just thought I'd say, your overall quality inspired me to try novelizing a favorite SNES game of my own- it's about halfway done.