| Reviews for Tale of Hal |
|---|
Erdrick117 4/1/13 . chapter 1Dang this story Is incredible and believable really hope you haven't abandoned it yet so everyone can keep reading or at leased send out a message saying you have stopped writing it. |
Sevenar 1/19/13 . chapter 3Great chapter, I especially love John's interactions with the people of Albion; being both humorous and even oddly enough believable. John will no doubt be on the lookout for some clockwork guns since those are the closest he'll get to his old ones. I am a bit skeptical about his skill with blades though, there is nothing in his training that would indicate he'd be effective with other than human combat knives and covenant melee weapons. Is Sparrow going to be good, evil, or more neutral? I mean she obviously did the good path in her youth to get the 5 gold necessary to buy the Music Box; but that was before her sister was murdered and she was thrown out a window. She obviously has a more tactical train of thought now considering she was actually thinking about walking away from the slaver to build up some funds. Though it is odd that she is more bothered by the fact that John killed Thag in the middle of his speech (which was pretty funny). I like what you've done with Theresa to be honest. Being an immortal seer with magic wouldn't make her all happy and kind; the fact that she sees the majority of people as incompetent and stupid is quite entertaining to read. I'm not really sure how to react to her being willing to free the Jack of Blades though. |
OBSERVER01 11/11/12 . chapter 3interesting |
Viktorius 9/30/12 . chapter 3So so so so enjoyable. I like the idea of John building his own forces and the reactions of these people who are not used to any kind of highly militarised force. |
Guest 9/19/12 . chapter 3 Please just update, it has been over a year since your last update |
Guest 7/10/12 . chapter 1 please update |
SpawnofAnarion 6/10/12 . chapter 3This is really awesome! I like what you're doing with Theresa. Up until recently I really didn't realize the fact that she's playing everyone. Please write more! |
ThePersonFromYourNightmares 5/26/12 . chapter 1NO NO NO! Halo armour is invinsible! :( One is not amused... |
wallsofmine 5/1/12 . chapter 3I like your story but i just dislike a coulpe things. One is the fact no one noticed his monumental amount of scars on him, even thought he is in a time with swords and such and scars would be common place, would attract attention to his obvious experience in combat. Second is the fact that you set his strength equal to a hero of strength witch i think is untrue even though they have a lot of strength i dought they can flip a car without much effort because i think john did that out of armor in the fall of reach. I lost the book so i can't tell you for sure. Other than that a vey good well thought out story and i hope you update soon. |
killroy225 4/28/12 . chapter 3oh so much potential please continue may b chief can find the ship in the next few chapters? |
Lunatic Pandora1 2/15/12 . chapter 3Even a Spartan without his armor is still a Spartan, after all. |
davidnm2007 1/9/12 . chapter 1Hello! I'd hoped to write a proper, a full review for you, but unfortunately I ran into something pretty much immediately, and unfortunately I just can't get past it. Sorry about that! The problem I found was with some of the dialogue: i"Cortana, we have to go." the Chief replied, his voice brooking no argument./i The problem here is that first full stop; it means that '...the chief replied...' has been carved off as a fragment. Strictly, the dialogue tag - 'said' - should generally be part of the sentence of dialogue. So, the above would read better as: i"Cortana, we have to go," the Chief replied, his voice brooking no argument./i Admittedly, this is confusing as question- and exclamation-marks are handled differently (it's perfectly fine to have them there). Also admittedly, this is a small thing - but I did find for myself that it made the text more difficult to read/interpret than was necessary, hence my not managing to get very far with it. I hope this is of some help! |
HiddenMaster 12/26/11 . chapter 3A nice little update to this fascinating story, if a little short. Several comments made in this have gotten me thinking, thinking of possibilities involving the supernatural(chiefly, John entered an alternate reality in which magic has been discovered is clearly possible, possibly an afterlife of sorts). Regardless, this is proving to be interesting, and can't wait for no more. Although, I still wonder just how the hell John is going to react when he comes across evidence of real, concrete magic such as that created by Garth. By the way, I saw what you did there with the steel thistle. Now I have to wonder if an android named Merlin is going to show up |
WorldStrider 12/26/11 . chapter 3While its a good story I think that the chief is massivly underpowered even without his armour. Also I have a little section on my page devouted to why you shouldnt trust Theresa. Read it if you want. Except for this its an alright story. |
Bagget00 12/25/11 . chapter 3I personally like the links to the Cheif's past brothers and sisters in arms, and hope you go somewhere with that. I also like you keeping him in character enough as well as having him be a bit more exposed emotionally since his normally unseen facial expressions are bare for all to see. |