|Reviews for Devotion|
| Personheretolookatstories 8/2/11 . chapter 1
I read this story a while back and thought it was just a one shot! But since I reread it and saw it was a prologue I am extremely happy I can't wait until you start this!
| LooMoo 6/24/11 . chapter 1
Whoa, this is friggin' awesome O.O I started to feel a bit sad at the end because I genuinely thought you were going to have Tsukuyomi kill Setsuna. I'm glad she didn't though because I would LOVE another chapter if you are planning one :D
| na 2/1/11 . chapter 1
Well, now, this is interesting.
For one, because of woo characters. I'm always glad to see Tsukuyomi pop up. Maybe it's just me, but I have a fondness for the villains and the crazies, so it's nice seeing her get some love, too. And dragging poor Setsuna into this mess...? Hm, looks like this is going to become a terribly beautiful thing.
And oh, the writing style! It has this kind of...surreal, almost eerie vibe. The description that's there but not quite complete, the quiet detachment...it's like someone curiously poking a body to check whether it's really dead or just asleep. Does that make sense?
Okay, fuck, I just can't write reviews.
There were some parts that could have used some fine-tuning - I think someone already pointed out the "Half" line; that exchange made me stop for a few seconds to figure out what she was referring to, but maybe that's how it would be realistically so uhhhh I guess that could have been the point? And maybe a few other parts, but I can't seem to find them, skimming through the story again. I'm not much help, but I suppose if I find them I can just toss them into a later review.
All in all, it reminds me a lot of Agota Kristof's Three Novels - if you haven't read them, know that this is a very good thing. It...it really feels a lot like the story, with the little off-kilter writing style and the village and the characterization and...fffffff now I'm going to start substituting Setsuna and Tsukuyomi for the protagonists now.
But for a story like this...well, I think it's worth it.
Whatever happens, it works well as a one-shot. Though I'll wait for updates, even if just to see what happens next.
| For Spite 2/1/11 . chapter 1
I don't know how I missed this going up. It's an excellent idea, essentially taking your "Trail of Breadcrumbs" story and going AU with it. For one thing, by letting Tsukuyomi get there first, you don't have to break up Setsuna and Konoka to get Setsuyomi but there's more to it being interesting than that. Setsuna and Tsukuyomi partnering up this early could change quite a bit of Negima and I love watching ripple effects in well-written AUs. Further, you manage to do a good job conveying their personalities as meshing even without the weight of history that won't come to be in this universe, which can be hard with AU romances, since the character's experiences together aren't the same. And they do mesh well, because Tsukuyomi has the same kind of pure, unconditional acceptance you'd expect from a heroine (such as Konoka)- she just reaches from the other side and Setsuna is starved for that.
One minor complaint, this dialogue here:
"We need a shovel. There's one in the shed next to the house. You should dig; I think you're stronger than me."
"Half," Setsuna mutters behind her.
"What?" She hopes they'll finish digging quickly. She has a lot to do today. Without her father around, she needs to find where he keeps his money so that she can pay for food for both of them.
"I'm part human."
That really should have a line where Tsukuyomi refers to Setsuna as a demon out loud before Setsuna says Half. As it is, it seems to come out of nowhere.
An easy fix would be for Tsukuyomi's line to be "You should dig, as a demon you're probably stronger than me" or something like that. Then Setsuna's line would be relevant. I know Setsuna's pretty out of it, but you already conveyed that by the way she stumbles through conveying she's half-demon, you don't also need it to be completely unrelated to what's going on (Tsukuyomi hasn't even asked anything about Setsuna's race besides a vague comment on wings).
Anyway, overall this looks quite exciting.
| yankumin 1/29/11 . chapter 1
This is such an engaging read.
I have to applaud you on how you write Setsuna and Tsukoyomi.
I'm particularly fascinated by your version of Setsuna. I mean what if Eishun didn't found Setsuna first... Its completely plausible that she'd be fiercely loyal to anyone who showed her the slightest bit of affection regardless of their moral standing.
I'll be patiently awaiting the next chapter.
| XZxYxZX 1/16/11 . chapter 1
I read this thinking it was KonoSetsu, but I guess not! Either way, it was really cool! Is this a one-shot? It doesn't look completed so I don't think... well update fast! SestunaxTsukutomi is cool too!
| Huilisti 1/15/11 . chapter 1
Wow, a great fic! I liked it a lot
Your Setsuna and Tsukuyomi are always (at least almost) perfectly IC, even though the settings are different. You write the insane Tsukuyomi wonderfully! :D
I'll be waiting for the next part of this
| Rei Sith 1/15/11 . chapter 1
i really enjoyed reading this. i love all your setsuyomi stories. the only time i see setsuna with any other person is only because konoka has moved on to date or marry someone else leaving poor secchan heartbroken :( i especially love the way you write out the stories and i wish i wasn't too lazy to review the rest of your stories (i will eventually, pinky promise 3)looking forward to the story this prolouge was for XD
| Ale-chan96 1/14/11 . chapter 1
another wonderful fic! :3 I'm still waiting for the next chapter of Taken by day day :D
now wait for the continuation of this and the other hehe
(and indeed I am translating into Spanish the second chapter of his excellent fic ;D)
| Ascoeur 1/14/11 . chapter 1
You said this is the prologue of the story you'll be working on after completing Taken Day by Day, right? So should I put this on my story alerts or will the continuation be in another story? I think I'll subscribe to it, just in case.
You never disappoint me, though. I like how you portray Tsukuyomi. Her behavior is what one would expect of her, which makes your stories more believable. Setsuna, too, seems to be pretty in-character, if you take in her contemporary circumstances.
And not to mention that I'm liking the concept for this story! Characters like Tsukuyomi intrigue me. She says that she wanted to bring Setsuna back to life in order to kill her, to get more pleasure out of it, but in the "end" (this is still just a prologue, after all) she becomes a bit attached to the little half-demon. It's really cute.
I can't wait to see how this resumes! I would appreciate it, though, if you updated Taken Day by Day soo, too. I LOVE that story _ (notice the caps?)
Hmm, I wonder if Konoka will be making an appearance in this story. She would make a great jealousy factor. I like the reactions she gets out of Tsukuyomi in Taken Day by Day, at least. Besides, if this is a Setsuyomi, then Konoka would definitely prompt progress in Setsuna and Tsukuyomi's relationship.
Tsukuyomi killing her father is creepy...
No wonder I love her :D!
... But I'm starting to question your sanity, Immi 0_0
Then again, I probably shouldn't be one to talk, since I love these stories, and the reader is just as bad as the author xD!
Update soon! (either story)
| To-Be-Silent 1/14/11 . chapter 1
I liked this.
It is very dark but warming in a way.