 Ganheim 2009-06-08 . chapter 5with unvieled
[unveiled]
and recieved.
[received]
reletively overnight
[relatively]
The answer just hit him, "Shampoo
[Shampoo’s bothered him and been rude to the other fiancées, but besides the failed Xia Fang Gao (which still didn’t modify personality) she hasn’t done anything to behaviorally change the fiancées. Ranma, being well aware of this, may not stop to think of her…though his addled mind might throw some blame at her when she bikes him into the ground]
standing up aond
[and]
spatcula girl,"
[spatula]
asked oblivously,
[obliviously]
you come with Shampoo to China now."
[I can remember many times that she asks him to marry her, but I can’t remember a single time when she asks him *to go with her to China*. Maybe she’s waiting to shoot for that after she’s gotten the ‘I do’]
Chapter 2
body portraid of
[portrait]
"Oh, its you."
[1: it’s, 2: she’s infatuated with his boy-form, after reading the end I get why she’s not fawning over him, but it’s odd that there’s not even a twitch. Oh well]
you WHENCH!"
[wench, it’s archaic but still in the dictionary]
YOUR EPITOME!"
[You mean ‘epitaph’?]
at a friends
[friend’s]
FOR DECEASEMENT!"
[For…please put that text through a text processor (on lower-case, they tend to ignore all caps), and tell me you don’t think there’s something wrong with it]
Chapter 3
FIRE ON MY MARK!"
"Would you like something to eat?" Kasumi enquired.
"Oh, sure! I'm fammished!"
[That’s funny, but it’s spelled ‘famished’]
immidiatly took
[immediately]
Unfortunatly it
[Unfortunately,]
To ephesize her
[emphasize]
"DO YOU MIND?!?" Both Shampoo and Ukyo turned to the hit squad and shouted at the same time.
"Oh, don't mind us, ladies, sorry for the inconvenience." the squad leader apologised.
[apologized, though it’s still funny]
spetactular light
[spectacular]
stilled hs breath
[his]
any anamolies.
[anomalies]
ahd praying
[and]
erie spectrous
[eerie spectral]
Chapter 4
acending step
[ascending]
Unfortunatly
[unfortunately]
that beggers the question,
[begs]
Chapter 5
in a flee
[in flight?]
with illegal artillary,
[artillery]
Otoko-Ranma
[I know that ‘onna’ is Japanese for ‘girl’, but this story is in English (if with a lot of misspellings) and should stay English whenever possible]
look up immidiatly,
[immediately]
a paul bearer's
[pallbearer]
here eyes;
[her]
merely saught
[sought]
he dissappeared
[disappeared]
and psiologically.
[psychologically]
his eyes as wide as the moon
[But you just said it was a moonless night…]
his rounds,.
[Extraneous comma]
to the attic to find the ancient
[Wasn’t Happosai’s room on the ground floor?]
HIs dread
[His]
well warrented,
[warranted]
angle, subconciously
[subconsciously]
claim it's
[its]
unfortunatly,
[unfortunately]
posessed girl
[possessed]
confrontation occured,
[occurred]
apologise when
[apologize]
That was what I think could appropriately be labeled a ‘crack fic’. The biggest problem remaining was spelling, but if that would be fixed the characterization is explained by the weird comedy and fits. |