even though its beautifully written, i hate that kyoya is a cheating b******! he's so out of character! :/

nicely written though! :)

kyouya you traitor

1. Kyoya is a man-whore

2. Haruhi is too blunt

3. Renge? LOLLLL fuck no xD

4. Get into their characters more

5. RENGE STILL! LOLLLLL XD

6. Haruhi would not let another man touch her precious parts

7. WHY IS KYOYA A MAN-WHORE?

There's alot of things you can fix, this story was still awesomeeezzz though.

its really good

I don't like how he's cheating in haruhi. :(

you nasty motherfucker

This really seems like it would be a great story, but I just cannot make myself read it. You need to take the (Kyoya:) stuff out and use quotation marks for the dialogue. I just cannot read it when it is like this. I bet that if you fixed this, more people would read it and more people would review.

Not trying to flame, and I would really love to read this, but I just can't get past the horrible punctuation and incorrect paragraph formation. And the grammar could use work.

I hope to come back to this story in the future and actually be able to read it. Good luck with your work.

The characters are too impersonal, and Kyoya is very, very out of character.

You should continue on with this I'm curious now

well i think this is a good idea for a story,and story line...it could use some work on my opinion...its more like one of my rough characters are to straight forward and impersonal and if Kyouya really loved Haruhi he would have a hard time even touching another girl,or he would at least break off his relationship with Renge when he got Haruhi right away...but that's my opinion i think its a good story line but could be better,anyway thanks for uploading it.

-Peace! -A*Dragon

awesome i love this fic