|Reviews for Yume no Sekai|
| rammie for a reason 5/19/13 . chapter 10
That was the saddest fanfic i have ever read this was pure awesomeness! *cries uncontrollably*
| Yoitemichealis 10/29/12 . chapter 10
*sobs* omg, that ending was perfect! You can't really have a happy ending with nabari... but this one was happy in a "at least everything wasn't lost" kind of beautiful, so freakin beautiful! It was a little cramped, the last chapter at least, like you were actually "trying" to finish it in this chapter, but it was short and bitter sweet. I really, really loved it! *hugs*
| kitty13492 9/5/11 . chapter 10
| eternalsnowfox 8/20/11 . chapter 10
Ah...a decent Nabari no Ou story... *sigh* Sad ending. Quick, but I guess it fits. I like the idea you have, here. Miharu and Yoite are slightly OOC (as you've said before), but nonetheless, this was a pleasant story to read. I'd give you writing advice, but jaizina seemed to cover it all already. Keep writing - you have potential. :)
| The Self-Proclaimed Otaku 2/16/11 . chapter 10
You know, you really shouldn't call this storyline "lame". It's pretty good. While the canon characters do act out of character now and then (mainly Yoite and Miharu), I like the fact that your OC does not hog the spotlight (like many do in other stories). Your storyline is quite original, and although not a ton of background on your OC or a long ending is given, it suits the pace of the story.
I think the main issue with your story is the fact that it either doesn't follow the anime or manga line, or that this is and AU. It's not an issue regarding the fic, but it is very confusing for the reader. It would be a good idea to mention whether or not you are using the original plot, an AU, or something else. Grammar and mechanics wise, yours isn't too bad, so don't be too hard on yourself. Just have someone read through it, and basically all of the errors can be fixed.
One more thing you can add to this would be showing and not telling. For example, show us a characters actions caused by their emotions rather than actually telling us their emotions. Or describe the character's surroundings a bit. If they walk into the same area twice, just describe it once (and so on).
Overall, good job, and keep it up for any other stories you write.
| Distant love 2/4/11 . chapter 9
awww, i hope he dosn't die a second time again...that will be sad, but a good ending though to put...i still hope he dosn't die a second time though...
| Distant love 1/30/11 . chapter 7
i liked this chapter it was nice.
| Distant love 1/26/11 . chapter 6
hey the story is really good! but thats really messed up of what those girls took the picture of, i hope they don't send it that would really be a horrible thing to do...but its really good! hope you update soon!
| Distant love 1/24/11 . chapter 5
this is getting good, keep up the good story work!
| Distant love 1/22/11 . chapter 4
hey its coming out really good. This story is awesome! i hope you update soon!
| Distant love 1/17/11 . chapter 1
hey! i always love reading your stories! they are always so interesting! i hope you update soon!