I certainly hope you can continue this. It's wonderful, and I want more!

All right, Kaze, you asked for it...

First of all, this story is lovely as a one shot. Not everything needs to be stretched out into an epic, you can just leave this as a glance into Minako's soul, and leave us with her abiding fear of being alone and unloved...

That said...

I intend to touch on these points - plot, characterization, scene and tone, and grammar and writing style.

Well, let's start with the last first - I didn't see many grammar problems. The only thing I'd watch out for is repetition in sentence structure. It's very glaring in the first paragraph to have two sentences, one after another, structured the EXACT same way...it's ...boring. If you can vary you sentence structure a bit you're fine. The style of this story is consistent, no hopping around in voice or tense, no glaring spelling or grammar errors, NICE to read.

Now to my big gripe, the plot...

I know you don't think you really have a "plot" for the story, but even an individual scene can have it's own plot. You do have a plot here, Mina goes on a date with someone she thinks is the one...then through some kind of change of heart, she realizes he isn't and doubts her own knowledge of love. It works just great as a one shot, you don't have to embellish it at all (although I do have ideas if you want some, hehe)

Unfortunately, the plot resolution of this scene seems very contrived to me. I don't understand Mina's reasoning in the story...in the beginning she's thinking he's the one, and then a few seconds later he's not? It's too sudden. There's no lingering doubts before, no rumors of another girl, in fact, you never tell us who the hell the other girl is! Or much about the guy for that matter. Just some basic information would be nice. How long have they dated? Was their first date in a coffee shop? They usually jabber and jave a good time right? Why did it change? When did it change? Just this date? Has it been fading? Has Mina felt the changes, seen the changes? Does she know the girl, or is she utterly confused? Does Mina wonder if the girl is prettier (after all, this is mina, haha). You need to set up the action in the story...the change in Mina's heart, with some inner dialouge as well.

OK, now to scene and tone -

The tone is almost...melancholy. The cold weather, the wind...That works well, although you could enhance it a bit. Now to set the scene...Mina is sitting with a guy in a coffee shop - he asked her out, this is stated. We only know that the guy loves a girl outside by his eyes, and that the girl has brown hair and eyes. A bit more description of them might be warranted You do a fantastic job of setting up the scene, I can see the coffee shop, taste the coffee, the physical imagery is EXCELLENT. But the emotional element of the scene is missing. I don't FEEL what Mina is feeling, what the guy is feeling. I don't want a sudden statement that she's strangely at peace. Show us what she's feeling. If you work on your characterization a bit more, I think the emotional scene will fill in nicely.

All right, the last one (which I'm going to be picky about) characterization:

Mina is like a good line drawing. All the parts are there, but I don't really know what color dress she's wearing - I need to see more of her feelings, her emotions. Why is she feeling this way? You let us SEE what Minako is doing but don't let us see the torment in her soul.

The other two characters in the story I realize are props, not actual characters, but they're not even good enough to be cardboard cutouts. They're like chalk drawings on a street. They're present and they're outlined, but we don't see who or what they are. The secondary characters need major work. Even just names would help.

All right, I'm done...

Otherwise you have a very nice little one shot - thick in scene and tone story. Right now it's rather...foamy? hehe...but I think with a little work it could be a nice dark cup of java, perfect for a rainy day read.

Aurora

I have never read any of your previous works, but I would like to after reading this piece. I liked very much.

Hey Kaze! So nice of you to mention me *blush* Anyway, I like the fic...the coffee description is great. As long as a storyline appears _sometime_, things will be okay! Good luck!

Ice

Very well written! The description you used is great! I don't think it's bad at all that you don't have a story line yet. that's how most of my fics get written. Take any one of my stories - with the exception of a couple - and know that I didn't start writing them with too much in mind of where it was going to go. I think you did a good job and I can't wait for more.