|Reviews for Apprehension|
| fearthecicadas 4/11/13 . chapter 10
Dem Higurashi, always being omens of death.
| UsOdA 4/9/13 . chapter 2
USODA moment there. Oh and Shion, quit being such an ass 'kay.
| allieantic 3/30/13 . chapter 13
I enjoyed it very much! Great job! The suspension was out of control (in a very good way), and the ending was so wonderful!
| Sergeant Daniel 6/14/11 . chapter 13
Wow, that was a great ending. I loved it, it was great. Keep up the good work:D
| Crimso 6/12/11 . chapter 13
Excuse me once again for the late review, you know how my computer is with FF these days.
Ooh, what a wonderful ending you have there! I felt so bad for Mion when she appeared with those crutches. I mean, that part where she said "I guess I really am an Old man now," made me feel so bad for her, simply because well... that's always what she says, and I guess it's a little to literal this time around. The poor girl. I can't imagine Mion having to walk with crutches, seeing as she's always so active. And then the line about her back, and how it's just a bunch of scars now and all that made me so sad. The attack really affected the poor girl, even though it's over now. I liked how you wrote that one line just as you had said to me in the PM. Shows that there really is a long lasting effect of this attack. I like how devoted he was to her in this fanfiction. It made me feel so happy to see him comfort her throughout this whole fanfic. And yes, I was expecting a bad end. Stupid me.
Wow, when she that "she owned him something" rather than her life, I had to chuckle at her behavior a little. I guess she still feels a little embarrassed about her love, huh? Well, even though Mion's overcome it mostly, it's still quite nice to see that she still has a little of her embarrassed personality and such. I loved that part in general, when Mion was thanking him because it if weren't for him she really would be a dead, rotting corpse. Congratulations, Keiichi! You have officially done something really, really, really amazing.
And the fluff at the end. Oh god... the fluff at the end. You wanna know how to make a fan happy? You add fluff, which you certainly did and as such I am so much happier now! MionXKeiichi is my favorite pairing ever, ever, ever, ever, ever so it's wonderful to see more KeiMi fluff. Honestly, I wish that there was more KeiMI in this internet world. We need more. So I applaud you for writing this! Ah, but let's get back on track, shall we?
OH, the confession! The confession! Oh how I loved it so much. I also loved how she was leaning on him instead of using her crutches. That was just so adorable.. I cannot even put it into words. I also loved how you mentioned that even he, the Magician of Words, couldn't find words to respond to Mion. It just goes to show how shy he is when it comes to this stuff even though he might be the strong Keiichi who defies fate. A-And the kiss! Oh, the kiss. I loved the kiss. Why? Because it was a kiss, and a well written one, too. As I expect from you. And then that last line, the invisible chain one. Honestly, I thought that was a really good one. Especially how you added that he never intended to, not that he wouldn't break it. That just seems a little unrealistic to me, personally, so I applaud you for adding that in instead.
Excuse me for the messy review, and I hope you didn't mind reading it at all xD. I'm looking forward to this oneshot that you plan on uploading along with the long story your planing. Honestly, we need more Higurashi fics here be it oneshots or longfics. I mean, maybe it would be easier for people to find this section if it wasn't combined with Umineko and was in the anime section? I mean, seriously, Higurashi and Umineko aren't the same thing! They should at least put a function where you can say wether or not the fanfiction is HIgurashi or Umineko. Ahem, sorry, excuse my ranting. We need more fics, especially good ones, which you are more than capable of writing. Seriously, I am really looking forward to this!
And thus ends a beautiful, amazing fanfiction. Man, I'm gonna miss waiting for updates for this fanfiction and reading new chapters. *wipes her tears off her face*. But at the same time, I can't wait for the next fanfiction you have! Thank you for writing this. I really enjoyed it, really.
The only Crimso
| The Minister of Silly Walks 6/12/11 . chapter 13
The first part of this chapter nearly made me wet my poor self.
"It was so silent these days, and even moreso with also Shion missing today. He was slightly worried that the sister was in danger, but quite a few students were catching colds lately; he shouldn't be scared."
Suffice to say reading that filled me with such overpowering fear that it was almost difficult to press on. Imagine my immense delight when I read Shion walking into the room wholly intact and not in anyway marred like her poor sister. Might I say the nervousness you imparted there did no favors for my itch, Cherry _ (my, that comment is going to sound very odd a few months from now when I won't be able to recall my bout with this terrible rash-thing.).
And now this chapter will replace chapter 8 as my new favorite although typically I don't put epilogues or prologues into the running of favorite/least favorite bits since they're usually superfluous. And this was superfluous as in I didn't need to read it to feel like the story had been concluded but believe you me this story could not have had a better ending. Well maybe it could've...the only thing that could have made it better is if you described Mifune's torture at the hands of Satan as he wanders throughout the bowels of Hell for all eternity with his own bowels stringing behind him coiled in a long cord of barb-wire. x3 I'm just kidding. This ending was absolutely perfect as far as I can tell.
Again, I love your characters. I love, love, love your Mion here who retains her strong, tomboyish wit while at the same time has that wonderful tsundere quality that makes my innards squeal happily like a choir of school girls. Her confession was just perfect as well and is pretty much wholly the reason why the epilogue is my new favorite bit of Apprehension. She was so nonchalant and funny throughout the whole thing albeit nervously so. Or that is to say, all her little jokes she made were full of feigned confidence that we all have come to expect from Mion when regarding Keiichi. And for that I applaud you, Cherrylin Storymeister!
Overall, this story was great. :] The one and only thing that I found wrong with it was, again, Mifune. But as you stated, this fic was originally meant to be a oneshot so the fact that his role in the story is...well, "minimal" isn't the right word but I think you get where I'm going with this. Anyway, the fact that his role in the story was "minimal" is forgivable since this was meant to be a oneshot initially. But that is just one teeny tiny little flaw in a vast sea of fanfiction epicocity that was short but incredibly sweet and delicious. Furthermore, you're writing style is beautiful, eloquent, masterful, clearly had a lot of time put into it and leaves me in such a state of wanton envy that I find myself smashing reflective surfaces nowadays whenever I see my inferior little mug staring back at me mockingly. x3 Okay maybe I'm not THAT envious (as in, to the point of psychosis) but I have a tremendous sort of admiration and hunger for your writing and to be honest I feel like my own writing improves as I take some examples from yours. That being said, thank you for this fic and thank you for writing w You are an exceptionally gifted author and I look forward to any and all works of literature released with your name somewhere on the cover.
For the last time on this fic,
TTFN - Ta, Ta For Now
| Crimso 6/11/11 . chapter 12
Mion is okay! Mion is okay! Man, I really thought she was going to die there! Gosh, I can't even imagine what her back must look like now. That must be terrifying. I hope that we get to see a little more of Keiichi and Mion in the epilogue (which I am looking forward to, by the way!) because they are so epic.
In any case, the first part of the chapter with poor Mion being attacked was epic win. I could practically feel her fear! I mean, being in the same situation as her... *shudders*. Man, that must have hurt. The way you described it certainly made it seem like it hurt. Well, it must have. I have never seen Mion so scared before, never, and I must say it makes sense that she was scared in this situation. And damn, that guy is so evil! How dare that guy hurt Mion, how dare he! I hope that Mion's father took care of him. Speaking of which, I would have liked to hear a little more about what happened with Mifune afterwords. I hope that he got what he deserved. No, not only him, but his two men as well, especially that brute who had the nerve to even think about doing anything sexual to her. Hopefully Mion's dad fixed them all up well. All of them. If they don't... then... *gets out her giant gun of doom* :).
And then the second part, which was a complete contrast to the part before (which is not a bad thing, by the way). It was nice seeing Mion with all her friends again. At first, I thought they were back at school again, but then you mentioned they were in the hospital, which made me realize that Mion's injuries were probably pretty damn severe. I'm so glad she survived, and hopefully we can get a moment between Kei and Mi in the epilogue. It's so nice of her friends to come and play with her in the hospital. Aren't they just a loyal group of friends? I love seeing how loyal they are to their club leader, the one who founded their group and brought them all together. Man, if she died... I can only imagine how they'd feel...
Oh, by the way, thanks for the PM. I'll respond as soon as I can. However, right now, Fanfiction isn't letting me send PMs and it's barely even processing these reviews! Seriously, it took about ten minutes for the section where you write your review in to load. Stupid Fanfiction, stupid fanfiction! *kicks FFnet*.
Can't wait to see what else you have in store for us all, be it this fanfiction or the ones you have planed.
| The Minister of Silly Walks 6/11/11 . chapter 12
ROLLER-COASTER OF EMOTION!
Part 1 left me seething, practically rabid and then there was Part 2 which made me happier than all the little boys and girls on the planet :3
And I feel like an idiot for trying to convince me that this was going to have a sad ending! xD This entire time I've been freaking out that all of Mion's suffering was going to just lead her to a hole six feet below the earth and to be honest that "fact" depressed me a bit. But let me just say I have never been so happy to be lied to in all my life! 8D
And now it's time to review Apprehension as a whole! :3 So I will use my default formula for reviewing literary works as a whole!
Part the first: Cosmo's favorite part
Normally I would say the very end was my favorite part and truth be told it is a close second-so close in fact that if it got any closer to my actual favorite scene their particles would probably mesh together. While I LOVE the happy ending more than you will ever know there is still a part in here that I value most dearly. And ironically it was a chapter that, at the time, I partially resented for all the anguish it thrust upon Mion. I am of course referring to Chapter 8: Illusion. The writing here was just overall beautifully done, so much so that it was almost on equal footing with another fic of yours (Illuminated Wish). That chapter was beautiful and had more emotion in it than a emotionally unstable and chemically unbalanced adolescent youth (this is a compliment of very high regard). It was the one where I was able to most vividly get a feel for the kind of pain Mion was experiencing-the kind that makes living undesirable. Now, the reason why I at first struggled with this chapter in a heated love/hate relationship was because, at the time, I was thoroughly convinced Mion was not going to survive this endeavor for reasons YOU KNOW VERY WELL! I simply didn't want to accept that she was going to go through all that pain, all that anguish, and get nothing for it. To quote Keiichi (and myself) "It's not fair!" But as soon as I discovered that Mion would get a happy ending after all I found Chapter 8 to be much more rewarding. It's like running four and a half miles to an ice cream parlor instead of hopping in your car and driving there. The former process is so much more rewarding because you worked so much harder to get it. Though what Mion went through to get her "ice cream" wasn't so much just running four and a half miles as much as it was running four and a half miles with iron balls chained to your ankles whilst wearing a pair of cinder-blocks for earrings. Therefore, her happy ending is made much more fulfilling by all the suffering she endured in Chapter 8. Well done!
Part the second: Cosmo's least favorite part
Now, this part isn't so much about a part that I disliked rather than it is about a part that I found not quite as awesome as all the rest. And right now I'm contemplating leaving this section blank because any part I could possibly list under this section isn't really "bad" so much as it is slightly-less invigorating but necessarily so. But now that we have come to the end of the fic there is something I would like to point out that has left me in a state of minor befuddlement. The Prologue. It indicates that Mion seemed to know that something bad was going to happen to her and even more so, she seemed to know vaguely what that something bad was although later on (in this chapter) when the reader is witnessing Mion's assault she seems a tad bit surprised herself. w And really, I do hate doing this section because I always feel like the biggest jackass when I'm done.
Part the third: Cosmo's favorite character
This was tricky for me since there were really only 3 characters who got any focus and you wrote them all very well. There was Shion who was depicted in a light I have scarcely seen her in before, being portrayed as the devoted, loving older/(younger) twin sister which is something I feel both the show and the run of the mill fanfiction are seriously lacking in. In both cases, the only time Shion displays an ounce of compassion towards her sister is after she's just about throttled her on the floor. Then there was that time when Mion got shot and killed and she seemed pretty upset there but yeah that was just one moment _ But here, she seems obsessively concerned with Mion's wellbeing :] It's extremely refreshing, as I have said before. Then there was Mion who simply gets a golden star for lasting as long as she did and also showing a very weak and human side that, again, a lot of fics tend to overlook. And then thirdly there was Keiichi who showed equal determination and devotion to Shion and I love him for refusing to let Mion die in spite of her wishes. But ultimately, since I can only pick one, I will pick Shion. One because her relationship with Mion was so well stated and well done in spite of the fact that, up until this chapter, there were 0 words exchanged between the two of them. Two because I loved most of the chapters she was in-especially the dream-sequence because it was f*cking terrifying and so believably feverish that I actually felt like I was running a temperature for a bit. And three, because you managed to give her equal attention as everyone else in spite of this being a Keiichi x Mion fanfic.
Part the fourth: Cosmo's least favorite character (I'm going to nitpick you here)
See, normally I'd pick a character that I thought was poorly written and chew the author out for it until their self-esteem vaguely resembles the shattered remnants of a glass egg but really there are no characters in here that I can critique since they are all more or less perfect in their depictions. The one character who I wish could have had more face time was Mifune. Cuz I loves me a good villain :3 but sadly Mifune got very little development. That being said, the quality of this fic did not decrease at all from not having Mifune as a strongly developed antagonist since it really wasn't a story featuring a man vs. man conflict (though that was present) but rather it was a (wo)man vs. herself conflict. I.E. Mion vs. Mion and Shion vs. Shion. Now I'm probably over-analyzing the crap out of your fic but it is my sworn duty to make everything more complicated than it already is. So here we go. Mion seemed to be battling with herself in that she was battling to overcome all the pain she felt. In the end I'd say she "lost" because the pain she felt made her wish for death but really I can't blame her for that one. And then there was Shion who was wrestling with her fear throughout the duration of the fic. Namely, the fear of losing Mion.
Now that I'm done complicating things I will give this fic an overall score of 8.5/10 (and yeah...that's me trying to be cynical) And I do LOVE this story and it is by far one of my absolute favorites on this site and you as a writer are definitely one of my favorites of all time :3 Looking forward to reading more from ya' w Thanks for the awesome fic and I'll be looking forward to the Epilogue...which in retrospect I probably should have saved this epically long review for. D: poo poo.
TTFN - Ta, Ta For Now
| Sergeant Daniel 6/11/11 . chapter 11
This is a pretty good story. At first I was wondering what happen since I forgot, so I read chapter 9 over again and everything came back. I'm starting to like this story, update soon:D
| Nyria-chan 6/11/11 . chapter 11
I already said this so many times, but this story is soooo great and I like it sooo much. I'm really looking forward to chapter 11 and 12. Pls update them soon.
| The Minister of Silly Walks 6/10/11 . chapter 11
"It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that she had to endure all that pain."
D You know...I think I've said that exact same thing to you several times in the past. Oh Keiichi, I sympathize. But evidently life isn't fair D'
Personal quibbling aside, this was another great chapter from The Grand Storyteller: Cherrylin! This time with an added bit of intrigue :3 And by intrigue I mean Mion's relatives are bastards and anyone who has ever so much as shaken Mifune's hand without the express intent of ripping it off and gouging out his eyes with it needs to die a slow and painful death via pack of vicious dogs.
And now I must praise you for demonstrating a theme that I think has only just started to arise in Higurashi fanfiction: Shion and Mion's relationship :3. And you have captured it quite well. They have an incredibly strong bond here that I don't find in 90% of the fanfictions I read, so much so that they almost seem co-dependent. And throughout the fic you have even shown that the twins share something that could be interpreted as twin-telepathy, thinking back to Shion's earlier nightmare that still makes me run up to my sister's bedroom to jack her night-light every time I think about it D It showed that they have a very vivid connection, making Shion's grief and anxiety of losing her twin sister all the more easy to share in. And I know I've said it before, but I just like giving credit where credit is due. And so let me say it again: you are fantastic at placing the reader in the shoes of the characters. As much as it sometimes horrifies me, I can always get a pretty strong grip on what one of your characters is thinking or feeling. Which worries me since I am aware of a certain fic you are writing which will feature ample suffering for many of my favorite characters.
I also gotta applaud you for Shion's ending line here:
Keiichi: "Your father said he'd.. take care of it-"
Shion: "We.. don't talk about that either..."
XDD That's another strong suit of your writing! You're great at making really quotable one-liners!
I'm really sorry if any of this review doesn't make sense to you, btw Dx I don't know why but I'm itching all over today! It's a bleeding nightmare! I'm actually afraid that I might end up clawing off my own flesh...
...I wonder if maybe they're maggots crawling under my skin D
Anywhoozle, can't wait for next chapter(S)! :3 It's 11, 12, then KURUSHI-HEN! I'm so pumped! 3
TTFN - Ta, Ta For Now
| Crimso 6/10/11 . chapter 11
Wow, FF isn't letting me review quickly? What a bother. In any case, you should ignore my rambling. I'm going to start talking about the chapter... right now! Okay, so, let's start off by saying this chapter is instantly awesome because you added all the Sonozaki family in it. And let me just say this, that combined with your writing ability and the content made this chapter AMAZING! Okay, got it? Good! Now, I do hope that Mion is going to live. Something tells me she probably will, but just barely. I can't imagine what would happen if she was to die. That would be so so sad. I mean, if she does die, then you would probably give her an awesome death since to make up for the fact that she... well, died. That's if she dies, though. I think she'll live and we'll get some cute MxK moments. H-Hopefully the MxK moments...
Now, I love seeing the Sonozaki family interact with each other simply because I love the Sonozakis. I mean, who doesn't love the Sonozakis? In any case, I think it was great seeing how overprotective their father was seeing as we really don't see much of him. Keiichi really would seem suspicious to someone like him seeing as a. he's her father b. he really does seem like he could have done it seeing as he was the one who appeared with her like that. Of course, we know Keiichi didn't do it, so there's no suspicion there. I see this fanfic has quite a bit to do with the Sonozakis, which makes me super happy. Anything having to do with the Sonozaki family makes me feel all happy and stuff, even if it is sad like in this fanfiction.
Ooh... this Mifune guy seems like no good. He tried to kill Mion, that bastard! I will eat him for doing that D:. Well, hopefully Mion's father is able to take him down somewhat easily. For some reason, though, I feel as if he might have a bit of trouble. M-Maybe he'll even die. How can that guy hate the Sonozaki Twins? I mean, twins in the Sonozaki family are forbidden, but that's just too cruel. Honestly, whoever came up with the idea to kill twins is a sicko. I wonder if Keiichi will go up to him and yell at him or something similar? I would love to see him do that. Though I must say, is it both twins who are killed or just one of them? VN says both, anime says one. Huh.
In any case, I cannot wait to see what happens! Just keep up the good work, okay? For me? Okay :D.
| Sentinel Proxima 6/2/11 . chapter 10
This is really good. I think you are one of the best writers in the Higurashi section; you have a very strong ability to portray the way events feel from a character's point of view, which makes it really come alive for the reader as well. I admit I don't have much grasp (yet) of the plot or motivations behind what is happening, which I suppose means I'm in the same boat as the characters, but it's really thrilling and intense. Please don't abandon this :)
| Nyria-chan 5/28/11 . chapter 10
omg I like this story so much I can't discribe it in words. It's sooooo amazingly good. pls update soon ;)
| Crimso 5/26/11 . chapter 10
Oh no! Shion's hallucinating? Has she got the syndrome? That's what the obvious choice is, but I can't help but wonder something. Perhaps she's hallucinating for some... other reason? I'm not really sure, but I loved this chapter! See look, I DIDN'T forget to review! Yay! *dances*. In any case, as this involved Shion, I must again say how much I love the Twin's relationship. It is wonderful. Once again, most fanfics don't focus too much on how the twin's relationship, so I am happy that we have one here. I mean... I believe that Shion's hallucinating because Mion is gone. That's so cute. Uh... maybe it sounds strange to call it cute, but I think it's cute. Well, she could be hallucinating because of her dream, but she had that 'cuz Mion went missing. I love how Shion is feeling a little strange without her. I can't bare to imagine what would happen to poor Shion when Mion was dead. She'd probably hallucinate her twin and then die as well. Maybe I'm getting the wrong idea here, but if that's the case, then I LOVE it! Well, I'll love it anyways if it's not, because this fanfiction is epic win anyways. I mean, the writing style is love, the twins are love, Keiichi is love...
I cannot help but wonder what is to happen to Mion, and especially how Shion is going to react to it since she seems to be the one reacting a little stronger than Keiichi is. Well, I'm not saying that Keiichi isn't reacting strongly, but she's reacting in a different way. Keiichi is really upset and scared, yes, but Shion is hallucinating and all that stuff. I wonder if the same will happen to Keiichi? Or is this something that has to do with their bond as twins? Gosh, I really want to write a fanfiction about Mion/Shion's links as twins sometime. It's better to read them, though. Well, I think so, at least. Hehe, I have so many ideas about what's gonna happen and I don't know! I'm pretty sure Mion is alive... pretty sure. Perhaps she'll go unconscious for a few months, but I'm not too sure if she'll actually die. I want to see how Shion and Keiichi react to all this.
Take your time with updating. I understand how life can be : ).