In this story that didn't how Ai portay in this much selfish brat story who only about herself. Didn't like story this story confusing in may ways like Ai going back time meeting a younger sasuke and Naruto and going back a better grade which a stupid idea why not go back convince naruto that she is his daughter tell what happens even if he doesn't believe. I didn' like how has dream about wonderland and her joining ouran highschool host club which doesn't make sense at could of made seperate stories about being ouran highschool host club or being in wonderland about with some twist in this story good as the others you written I found this being worst of them all. And also Ai should for good not for her selfish reasons. And also to much modern day refence which shouldn't be use in the naruto unverise. I think instead of sasuke telling naruto that he pregnaunt what if naruto that sasuske was pregnant sasuske just left the village and rasie Ai by himself and Ai tires to found her father who he is. Also didn't like how talk back Naruto I feel sometimes Naruto correct on her attitude. Also Ai think should of told Sasuke she fail on her test rather then runaway for no reason I think would understand and tired to her help. And also song that you whip hair is stupid song to pick think you better that suites Ai. If ever one day decide a rewrite story I suggest not add some ideas in one story and think you should of made side stories this to story like her being Alice in Wonderland or being transported to ouran high unversie. And also didn't like add how Ai is somewhat speaking spanish which at all doesn't make sense while not add speaking normal when talking to naruto but make talk her in riddles or normal because naruto unverise don't character speaking spanish. I know this fanfiction but could made this story more naruto unverise rather modern references like cell phones ipods and etc you made a takes places moderen time and have Ocs somewhat related to naruto in that time. Over all think story could better if didn't randoms and Ai being selfish brat in the story. This story is just ok

this doesent make sence to me hat hapened in the fight with naruto and sasuke and when she was in town and than she was in the mountians like nothing happend and now here and its like the story keeps reseting its self i feel like im in alice in wonder land its soo confusing help

Your idea in the beginning is wonderful. I like the idea of Naruto believing Sasuke to lie and the two separated for years. However, the plot after that is pretty random and everything seem to be a mess. I also can't stand Ai. I hate Mary-sue and she's the very definition of one, despite how she gets "F"s.

I also don't find any of the characters to be believable. Everything is over exaggerated that the characters felt really fake. Sasuke left the village and raised his daughter all on his own, never once seem to be thinking of revenge on Itachi. Then all the sudden, Orochi appears, he dies, Sasuke went emo and his daughter comes after his freakin' revenge? You need to seriously consider the personalities of your characters and stick to one.

Also, there are too much ocs involved. I can't remember who is who at all.

So like I said, the beginning started off wonderful. You've established the tension and everything, but it started going down hill at a 90 degree angel after the appearance of Ai and her ridiculous reason of leaving home just because of a stupid "F". Like I said, not believable at all. If Sasuke beats her half dead for a failing grade, I can understand but the point is that he doesn't. If you exaggerate things like this, it ain't going to make anyone feel sorry for the brat if that is your intention. With her ridiculous reason, it just makes her look like a selfish, annoying brat who doesn't give a damn of her parent's feeling. She's so annoying that I seriously wanted to pray for a missing-nin to pop out from somewhere, kick her ass then slit her throat.

Sorry if this seem like a flame mail of sort. I really just wanted to give you my most honest opinion since I can't get the frustration out of my chest after managing to read to this chapter.

This couldn't be right, if you tried switching to the old version, you kept Ren and had his thing about the homophobe etc, but he was with her delusional "host club life" because he wanted to marry her and such. It should have come back when Sasuke and Naruto were in the middle of battle with Madara and madara takes Ai. This is crazy.

WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THE PLOT?! WTF

ok, well i see that this fanfic is COMPLETE and only 38 chpts long, and i'm on chpt 31, so...i dunno if this is going to switch back to the normal first story, or what, and also when u have Kentaro in Ai's class as graduating to become ninja, you have them act as if the thing where Aikiko and Kentaro say they can't be her friend anymore like never happened, and if you're sticking to your second story, THAT HAPPENED I'm SO confused, and I really liked this story too! :?

i commented on last chpt b/c of my previous confusion, now i find that 5 yrs have passed and its the ouran host club scenery! WHAT THE HECK ARE U DOING TO MY MIND?! I MEAN I KNOW ITS ALREADY WARPED BEYOND REPAIR, BUT THIS ISN'T HELPING AT ALL! THIS IS REALLY REALLY CONFUSING, PICK A DANG SETTING!

uh. I'm really confused. I guess i'l find out in later chpts, but i though that ai went back in time (cuz of madara) and met her 14 yr old parents and sakura and other people, and then was supposed to be returned to her old time, instead now she's living in a whole different world it seems, the stuff that would have happened if she didn't run away from her dad that day...but i'm so so confused cuz u make it as if this was her completely normal life, so i'm confused on if it's her real life or not...

wow...that...was...amazing...i love that story...it has my attention and won't let it go... :')

Can you write a story about Ai new life a least till she is 16 years old and was sasuke able to Ai when he was 13 to 14 years old and can you tell more about about her friends in the story cause i feel i don't know much about them i mean tthey are her best friends and the huyga one has something to do with the life village so Sasuke must his parents are ninjas from the village so i thought he did not like him. I think you should read the Gender Bender Naruto series to give you inrastion for a naruto story. I hope you find a new beta. Good luck!

It was a really interesting fic that could have been really good. First off the summary, and the characters listed, make it seem as it the main characters of the fic would be Naruto and Sasuke. That was just really misleading. I got over that, it would have been interesting to see Naruto and Sasuke interaction from another character. Sadly we barely see any Naruto and Sasuke interaction at all.
Secondly, it was confusing. Things happened in the story that seem to have come out of nowhere. We suddenly find out that Ai is the jinchuuruki to the ten tailed and there was no reasoning to why she's the jinchuuruki at all, no foreshadowing at all. Naruto suddenly appearing as a douche later in the story, that also appeared out of nowhere. There was no foreshadowing or explanation later in the fic to help make these things, and others like it believable within the fic. Many things just seemed like deus ex machina.
What got me though, was that the fic didn't seem to have a point at all. If the fic is about Ai, then do something about Ai. Develop her character, don't just keep her the same throughout the fic and end with her as chibi and no character at all. The end just made it seem like the it was supposed to be about Naruto and Sasuke, and it that's what it was supposed to be then we really needed more interaction between the two throughout the story. If it was supposed to be about Sasuke and Ai, and a father's love, then we should have seen more interaction between Sasuke and Ai; there shouldn't have been the whole random arc of her being in a Host Club.
Still, there were a lot of really interesting things going on that I would have liked to have seen more of. In the first arc I would have thoroughly enjoyed seeing how Sai would have dealt with Ai or Sasuke with Sai and Naruto. In the second I would have enjoyed seeing more of the relationship between Sasuke and Ai. So thanks for all the hard work you put in this fic and I hope you keep writing and improving.

it was good, but it started to get confusing and hard to follow... granted i did read most of it after being up almost 24 hours... but still, why bother having her travel in time the first time just to forget it?

you are... SO AWESOME. I need to track you down, and chain you up in my laundry room and force you to write me fics...

I love your writing! You are so funny! I love the reference to the Ouran Academy Host Club!

So this story seemed interesting at first ive never really seen a sasuke m-preg fic before so i tried it. Well first really pregnant at 12 kinda unbelievable and you gave no explanation of as to how except for i think one sentence referencing haru. Also Sasuke and Naruto both seem really OOC. And since your using konoha as a setting i cant really imagine there being a club there of any sort. Just overall not alot of background information and not very well paced. Im gonna stop reading here though but i do like the idea of sasuke being preg so thanks for that.