|Reviews for Duality|
| Sol D. Mars 5/7/13 . chapter 3
For the first story its not bad. :
| bum7 9/24/12 . chapter 3
Hope ya update soon
Love it so far!
| Kiyomaro-kun 8/26/11 . chapter 3
aren't you going to update this fic? what a shame, it seems a nice story
| Another Duck 4/19/11 . chapter 3
It seems like an interesting beginning of a fic, even if I like Himari more than the other characters. I'd like to see where it's heading.
It's not without its problems, though. Occasionally, I find it a little hard to imagine the scene in my mind. The old and clichéd saying, "show, don't tell," can be applied here. You don't need to describe everything, but a little more would be helpful to understanding the events. One particular example that stuck out in that regard was in the first chapter, "... began to lick his neck, as if desiring him." How did that show desire? It's better to describe the action rather than telling the purpose behind it.
Another thing is that the spoken thoughts seem a little stilted sometimes, like they're only there for exposition.
Most other things are good or decent, though, so you've got a good base to continue on.
| omegarulesall 3/3/11 . chapter 3
Interesting. Hope to see more :)
| JESSEshogun 3/1/11 . chapter 1
I expect more, give your readers more.