You wrote this in twenty minutes? :o

WHY CAN'T I HAVE YOUR WRITING ABILITY?

Something of this quality would take me like... a year. xD

I really, really liked this, even if the ending isn't the happy kind of one that I always hope for.

why can't everyone just live happily ever after? :(

ANYWAY, great job!

- applauds you -

This is cute. I think it gets the essential character of NPC!Lucas down quite well.

The only thing that bothered me was the use of 'hell' throughout the piece, since it just seemed somewhat out of character for him to be thinking in that kind of language. Either way, good job.

The faults were only in the second to last paragraph, my friend. ;) I am a die-hard twinleafshipper, but I must admit, I liked this one-shot. Lucas is pretty sweet in his own Lucas-y way. He isn't Barry, but (as you make clear in this one-shot) that can be a good thing. Of course, there are pros and cons both ways, but whatever. Now I'm getting a little too philosophical. XD

ANYways, pretty good job! Your ending each section with how he cares created a nice, subtle, driving force to the fic. Keep up the good work!

Finessefully,

X

The faults were only in the second to last paragraph, my friend. ;) I am a die-hard twinleafshipper, but I must admit, I liked this one-shot. Lucas is pretty sweet in his own Lucas-y way. He isn't Barry, but (as you make clear in this one-shot) that can be a good thing. Of course, there are pros and cons both ways, but whatever. Now I'm getting a little too philosophical. XD

ANYways, pretty good job! Your ending each section with how he cares created a nice, subtle, driving force to the fic. Keep up the good work!

Finessefully,

X

Aw. I'm not much of a Fortuneshipper, but I really liked this. It made me feel sad to think about how Lucas will always be tied down to this job, or family tradition, and unfortunately that's how it'll be..

For something written in twenty minutes, it was very good.

And yes, goodbye, generation IV. You brought such lovely memories.

Ah - but have fun playing Black. I'll be waiting 'til March... :P