Good story, hope you get more up soon. Please.

Thanks everyone so far for your thoughts on my story. The only small problem that I am having is that my Microsoft Word doesn't recognize my errors. Most of them it does but sometimes it doesn't correct them. Any ideas?

I agree with Alexandria, this was a good premise, but you definitly need to develop it a little more. I think having Sammi Jo ultimately fix the retrieval program is a good idea, but AL would definitly have known about it and would have at least been collaberating. Also, did they only have a small window of opportunity to use the retrieval program and what did that window consist of? I hope tht you go back over this, polish it up, then repost it. The story has potential, I hope that you will take what we have said and give it another try. Keep writing, that is the only way to get better. Good luck and remember.. MS Word Spell check is your friend.

Wow! That was a really good story! Please continue on with the next chapter! I really enjoyed reading the first chapter!

Good premise, but your writing needs work. You've got many punctuation errors. Also, it's not very believable. Sammi-Jo goes into Sam's office and magically fixes the retrieval program, and they get Sam back the same day? Jeez. And why wouldn't they be able to test it? A few more minutes, or another another hour couldn't hurt. I'm sure that several programmers, Donna, Al, Gushie and even Tina probably went over the program dozens of times to figure out what was wrong. And here the WONDERFUL,sarcasm Sammi-Jo comes along and fixes it in hours. Really! If anyone would be able to fix the retreival program, Al should be in on it. He IS Sam's best friend, ya know.

The dream of every QL fan : Sam returns home safely !

Please write the sequel to this, cos it stops almost where it should have started. I'd like to read about Donna & Sam re-discovering each other, the Project staff having a really BIG party, etc etc...

Finally, don't forget to end your sentences with a .period - too many are missing so these can't be typing mistakes !

I'm sorry, but your story was unreadable, at least

to me. There were so many grammar mistakes, run-on

sentences, and punctuation errors that I couldn't even finish it. It was a good premise, but I'd suggest that you find a beta reader and go back over this. I'm not intending this as a flame, so please don't take it that way. As a writer myself,

I understand the joys and tortures behind a story,

which is why I'm making these suggestions. Please consider my advice and good luck in the future.