great work though you should work on your spelling here and there but overall good job

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More please:D

All I have to say for that last chapter is "Oh Shoot!" and "That's a shame, I likes that fellow too."

Other then grammar, you have a really good story plot going on. Keep working on it and maybe even add a bit more suspense. But these are only suggestions, and I like what your'e doing so far

Really good, please keep writing the grammar isn't very good but the story is, so I'd love to find out what else happens :):)

Long time no update but I'm glad you did it.

Interesting. You need to add more dialog though and give a better description of the surroundings. You're doing a good job but I can tell that you can indeed do better.

I wonder if she gets to meet delta. And is her big daddy still alive? Im saving your story to my phone :)

Eleanor is a real bitch!

I felt pity for the little girl.

Hehehe. 1 2 3 ain't getting any, with or without Marion.

Would Dr. Lamb trust some scientist or a Big Sister which cares about the girls enough that she would never hurt them. I wonder. XD

Intersting idea, and I like it. The action in the other chapters was good and I like the moral deciscions that follow with taking the little girls. Its kinda like the game. And I think most of us will be able to come up with why the are elites ;)

Guilt is a strong force where it is present.

I like how the little girs are treted like friends here, but what happenes when they get a slug shoved down thier througts? And the mental conditioning? Keep things moving, I like this story.