Thank you so much for this story 3 and this fic deserves more reviews! It's really shame that there's just few fanfics like this of BMFM :( so I really wish you'll still continue this! And I really really would appreciate long chapters ;) But I understand that you have other things to do and not time for that. Nevertheless I want see how this ends. Please more!

I gotta say that I read this whole story in less than an hour and I would like to read more please! I don't usually read anything on Modo's father so to read that he was a biologist/botanist is a new and interesting twist. Hope to read more from you soon! Write Free!

i like the plot though the chapters can be a little bit longer :) keep up the good work

I seem to recall having e-mailed you a review for this! I'm glad to see you brought it here to .

Many of my criticisms still stand, however: your prose is choppy, likely due to copy-paste issues, but also due to other issues like paragraph placement and flow, minimal dialogue, etc. You also rush the story along; romance, especially between macho mice, needs time to grow and bloom. You cannot make a strong relationship in a mere 12,000 words (approx. the current word count at the time of this review). You need to stop and expand on the story; perhaps illustrate the entire story through Throttle's POV and Vinnie's POV interchangeably; they don't have to cover exactly the same space in time, merely allow us to understand what is going through their minds without throwing everything out in rapid succession. Again, this may be due in part to the breaks in the prose, but I lean more towards the interpretation that you're trying to rush the story.

The concept is great, and the idea hasn't really been addressed before in the BMFM section. There is one, maybe two stories that pair up Vinnie and Throttle that try to get it right, and in my opinion they don't work very well. I hope that yours ultimately makes this unorthodox pairing reasonable!

Hera Ledro

I fixed Chapter 6, its now its proper chapter, and no longer a double of chapter 7 :p

Thanks for the warning.

it's a really good story so far, but chapters 6 and 7 are the same.

Awesome, but get rid of the stupidly long disclaimer