Well characterized!

That was hilarious

Ah, yes, the homing poodles. I was sure Ian was joking when he made that comment, but why not?

This. Is. Amazing. Except for the part where Isabel used so much 'darlings'.

Rating: 9/10.

FallingStar17

As always, splendid job there, Syberia. I like how you didn't scarifice quality for humor and randomness, very well done. Whatever grammical errors I can find have been pointed out, but if you want absoloute nit-picking, I could say that the transition between Natalie in the forest and Isabel in the salon is too subtle ( some sort of break would do). You're awesome, keep writing because the world would be at such a loss if you stopped :)

So sorry I didn't review, but it slipped pass my mind during the time. :) Most of the minor mistakes were already pointed out, and I'd just like to congratulate you for winning Second Place in the contest. Love to see more from you. :D

- Sanity Optional

You are a great author. I loved the story:)

The summary was funny. Homing poodles. Aha.

However, I did see three tiny grammar errors, but I doubt that anybody that doesn't look out particularly for them will notice. Good luck.

I liked it, but I didn't really see the humor in it, honestly. Still, it's very interesting and detailed and I think you did a very good job at writing this story. Not that many grammar and spelling corrections, too. As far as I see it, there is only one.

"That didn't really didn't mean anything, though."

I hope you fix that soon.

Keep Writing!

-Amy Stardust

haha! Homing poodles! I love all the foreshadowing in this story. And it wasn't awkward like some of the stories I've read for challenges!

Fantastic job!

It's always interesting trying to incorporate the prompt/words into your story, while still being creative. It's an interesting plotline, and I enjoyed it. I like the foreshadowing to later when Isabel and Natalie go seperate ways, and it kind of expands your depth for how much Natalie admired her mother, and how much it must have hurt her when cough certain things cough happen in book10.

Overall, good job!

wordzRmagik-13

Excellent, I love it when fanfic authors manage to work in the smallest little details (the homing poodles) from the canon. It usually makes me smile.

Kabras are hard to get in character, because they're portrayed differently in each book, but I think you did a good job. Nice forshadowing of events to come in the books, too. I can't help thinking of Book 10 when Isabel says "In fact, I feel betrayed, betrayed by my very own daughter." The grammar and spelling is good, too.

There is, however, an inconsistency.

Here, you refer to the brand of Natalie's sunglasses as "Ray Bland."

"Mum, please!" Natalie pleaded. "There was this monkey, and it-it attacked me! Then it stole my Ray Bland sunglasses, and it ran away, and I – "

In the paragraph after the next one, though, they are called "Ray Blan" sunglasses, without the "d."

Also, the introduction is well-written, like the rest of the story, but a little long. Usually, you want to get to the heart of the story quickly.

Overall, though, this is a pretty impressive story.

I saw about two very minor grammatical mistakes- they weren't even actual mistakes, just things I would've done differently, come to think of it. Those are all the flaws I could find.

WONDERFUL story. I loved it. :)

I love this. The monkey? I'm guessing that it's the one that planted that bug in book ten? Love it.

Anyways, some sentences were slightly awkward, but eh, no one but me noticed them, so you're good!

So, good job!