I really enjoyed how you followed Akatsuki's character from the show so well, and for your first "true english fic," it was really well done. My only critique I think would be the over-repetition of Akatsuki remarking on Akari's smile. Once or twice, MAYBE three times in such a short piece would be alright, but I found myself wanting him to notice other details, too, or go a little deeper into his own emotions. Other than that, great job! D

You need to work on your English grammar a bit, the romance aspect was awesome, and the first person bit was excellent. Since this is your first time writing in all those categories, i give you 20 outta ten stars. lol, it's that good. And i'm a pretty rough critic, though i'm roughest on myself. Keep practicing!

Sarah

I find it weird that President Aria is sick, yet Aika has no intention of tending for him

This was great! XD I love how you were able to write Akatsuki so well!

That was really enjoyable. It's always funny to see Akatsuki react to Akari's way of seeing things. I think they go great together, and it was cute how you made him continually deny his attraction to her. I can't choose my favorite scene in the story, I like them all so much. Your English is very good, too. Nice job!

whoa, way to go nii-chan! this is almost like a romance fic :p

THIS IS GOOD! I LOVE IT! Please continue! I've been waiting for a good AkariXAkatsuki pairing for months, and I'm really happy that I finally read a good one! Keep up the great work! I hope you'll continue!

OMG! I like it very much! Even though I haven't read Aria, but this fic makes curious about the true relationship between Akari and Akatsuki in its manga! OMG, you know what, I couldn't help smiling while reading this. I love it when Akatsuki gave her the ring. He liked her very much, didn't he? Too bad he was always denying it (in this fic).

The romance is good! Your first POV is also good! Though I may not be saying this, but I still found some mistakes. For examples:

"She looked like as if she's having fun looking at an item on display on the shop." shouldn't it be better if you erase 'as if' there?

and this,

"I haven't ate lunch" should it be like this: "I haven't eaten lunch"?

And one or two more mistakes I fail to mention.

Well, you're still great. After all, your english is obviously better than mine. hehe. Anyway, you should make another fic like this. I had fun reading it. See yaa!