You know, some years ago I read this, I regret to not have posted a review at this time...
It's a good story, and you know, it's surprising and fun to know that now, you write Naruto story.
First fic, so first chapter ? Man, for a first, it's awesome !

This Fanfiction is quite enjoyable. Your worry about Gary-sues is fine, but you should be less worrisome about it. As long as its keep reasonable and well written and planned it is quite dandy.

Since you are working with a character already in the story, as long as it does not go OOC, you can go more than what you could normally with a OC.

I also was sad at killing Eagler. He was a good man.

Good one, I say. But you were absolutely close : it is " coup d'état" XD just the apostrophe who was placed the wrong way!

Sad but good chapter. When you were thinking of Dart right? And you called him Dan? Ironically, Dan IS his name. When Fargus found him he had amnesia (like Mark) and so for some reason They renamed him Dart. in a support convo with Dart and Rebecca, Dart says it was pure chance, but not if the people who made the game has anything to say about it.

MORPH! 'Nuff said

GARY STU ALERT! Yes someone's already probably said this BUT giving the main character all weapon sills, mediocre at that but still. Just no. Make sure he gets ONE weapon NOT any more. Or it could get bout it

Not a bad chapter. Mark seems to be getting too proficient with too many weapons (maybe a few just to defend himself would be more... normal?). Anyway, the knight crest, I'm not really a big fan of using promotion items in fanfics, but I guess it can depend on how you work it out. Otherwise, the rest of the chapter was nice.

Felt sorry for Eagler.

So, about the idea... Can you tell me?(guess not, haha!)

Now, I am really interested in Mark's mysterious past. Just who are you, man? XP

Eagler's death was rather clichy but well written. Way to make mark a great lier and a jokster. Hope the next up date comes soon.

Over used topic is over used...but still good. But there ARE some problems. First, how would Mark know Saint Elmine's name? he isnt from around there. And two, how can a person (Lyn in this case) not trust someone BUT be TOO trusting at the same time.

Well, althought it is not too successful humour but I still had a good smile with Lyn, Sain and Serra's part.

Mark still haven't show his real face yet(sigh). So Mark's left eye turned yellow due to the corrosive magic. Say, how about make the pupil become slit like a cat's?

Again, looking forward for the new chapter.

Wicked. The twins' direct manner was the best part, especially when the others are soo shocked. Keep it up!

gold eye huh. only being that i know that has gold eyes are morph(the fke human that nargal made) and Laugz(i don't know how to spell it)

How could you leave it at that? At least the update was recent. I wanna see moar, man.

Technaly lyn should have seen his face because she took care of him when he fainted, unless she some how forgot. Oh yea you forgot sain's opinion about mark, keep up the good work.