I'm not sure what to think about this chapter. On one hand you can almost see where Setsuka became so twisted, but you don't really want to sympathize with her because at some point she has to be responsible for her own choices. Plus I really though Mizu understood that Setsuka wasn't someone she could trust, was the hole almost killed Chichiri thing not enough to convince her! I do feel sorry for Hataku though he was trying to save her in a way, to bad she was to far gone to accept the help. (Ritsuka you need to learn when to shut your dang mouth.)

The one and only strangeness.

Well, I'm home sick today, so I managed to get through four chapters-to tell the truth, I could hardly help myself, the battle scene was so tension-filled! Very well done, Dee-chan!

Okay, let me start at Chapter Eleven. Sometimes, in the midst of all this action-adventure, you manage to capture a scene that just rings with truth-and I catch my breath in admiration. It happened with Chichiri's line to the grieving Kiori: "It never stops hurting." So simple, so true, and so perfect in its harsh reality, leaving aside the softer emotions of comfort and pity. I loved it!

I also loved many of the battle sequences-very gripping. I had to keep reading chapter after chapter to see how it turned out. Also, I was intrigued by the "brainwashing" of the youthful Elements against the "Evil Konan Empire"-an astute observance on the state of war in general, and the propaganda that drives otherwise sane people into committing horrible acts in the name of "justice." You've also tossed forth (through Chichiri's research) tantalizing glimpses into motivation, by way of a possible evil legacy by Tenkou. (Off-topic: May I tease you for a moment for your correct Romanji spelling of "Tenkou" that you subsequently fiercely reject for "Kouji?" Hee!)

The emotion runs strong throughout the battle-you really made me ache for Tasuki's anger and Chichiri's fierce pain at losing his brother seishi.

Now what would a Roku review be without a touch of concrit? (I appropriate your Death Star theme for my use. :P) My opinion only, but I became -really- impatient with at first Kiori and then Ritsuka's need to spout off incessant dialogue at Chichiri WHEN HE'S FREAKIN TRYING TO GET TO THE BATTLE TO SAVE TASUKI! I wanted to scream, "Shut UP, you self-centered wenches!" I feel that you could easily cut 50% of their dialogue in those scenes to get them out of his way.

Next, although I could understand your battle scenes playing as a movie in your mind, they seemed a little long for the written page, mostly due to repetitiveness. See, crit from the Queen of Repetition! Honestly, it's a fault of mine that I've been working on, so I'm much more sensitive to it. We really don't need to be shown twenty times in a row that Taiyou's personal shields repel multiple attacks from Akai, Ritsuka, Kouji, and Akai again and Ritsuka again, and then Chichiri-well, Chichiri's battle with him was the best, because something different actualy happened, while the others were cookie-cutter versions of one another.

Same goes for Tsuki's teleportation and back-stabbing attacks. Describing it once or twice is great-five times gets to be too much, even though you throw in different fighters: Ritsuka, Tasuki, Tasuki, Kouji, Tasuki, etc. Again , it really gets bogged down into repetition until Chichiri and then Setsuna appear.

And Chichiri is captured once again, woe! (Shades of RFS haunt me. :P) Hopefully, it won't be for too long this time, but I guess I have to read to find out, ne?

Finally, I'd like to commend you on the infighting between the Elements and on the inclusion of Sora's interaction with the Shogun. It injects a feeling of reality in the midst of fantasy. I have to admit that Sora's mindset chills me; she's the perfect candidate to become a suicide bomber. Very sad.

Great work, Dee-chan! Till next time!

Ja ne!

Roku

As I've said in the past, this has always been my favorite chapter. Now that it's been totally revamped, it's much, much better than it used to be - but even the old one was good. What I like best about it is what Tasuki is going through and how well you deal with that subject. I also love the scenes between he and Ritsuka because they show how much both of them have matured at this point, and how much closer they are as friends.

As for what I'm critical of, well... I already told you that when I beta-ed it! No need to repeat it here, especially not since you changed what bugged me. _

Great story, great original characters. They're well developed and treasured. Description is nice too! It catches the natural Fushigi Yuugi humor. Koji's death is really sad though...

Please update, I'm really itching to read EP 25!

(_)

I thought that after Tasuki received his 'present' from Taiitsukun after the botched summoning, HE was the only one who could use the tessen? How'd Ritsuka get it to work? (I'm pretty sure Watase-san mentioned that in one of the author talks in the manga)

PPS - sorry for the double review, but I've been reasearching a little and I was wondering if you knew: It was a requirement for someone to have a reputation with the ladies if they wanted to join the Mt Reikaku bandits, and so in order to accomplish this, Koji took Tasuki to a brothel... so it kinda contradicts the guy-talk scene you have in Chapter 22. Yeah, just wondering... so Tasuki couldn't possibly be a virgin...

RK9.

Well, I wish you hadn't killed off Koji-san...but you did it in a way that I'm still able to accept it happening - with respect for the character, and no less love. So it's okay, even though it's not okay.

I like that Ritsuka and Tasuki are getting closer, and I'm enjoying the Kiori/Chichiri stuff as well. Can't wait to see how your plot develops - you're one of the better writers I've seen on this site in the FY section, someone with an actual plot, good writing skills, knowledge of what you're writing about and love for the characters... an excellent combination that never fails to impress. Someday, I hope to write like you do - I try planning FY fics but so far I haven't gotten far... Oh well. This is about your fic, not mine...

So: keep on keeping up the good - no, incredible work.

RK9.

Ps - More Chichiri/Kiori, please?

I don't like complaining, but this chapter just ticks me off! The scene between Tasuki and Ritsuka...Are you doing it on purpose? Man! Here I thought "finally, some romance!", and you just HAD to burst my pink, rosy, sweet sugar-filled bubble! But at LEAST there's some KioriXChichiri to make up for it... Guess I oughta be satisfied...

And also thank God we'll get to know what the deal is with Setsuka-tachi! I've been wondering for so long! And as for the chapter lenght, this one was SHORTER than usual... I like long chapters! What's so wrong about them? I never understood it...

Well you really did showed instead of telling me Dee-senpai! I'm lookng forward to the next chapter of FY:NC! Fight!(Don't overdo it though...) Ja matta nee!

Aw poor thems, they need hugs. Atleast Ritsuka was able to smack some sense into Tasuki, I was worried there for a bit. And I can see those voices as Kiori and such. They fit 3 Can't wait for the next chapter, as always.

Another great chapter, as always. I hope things work out for everyone, and I'm patiently waiting for some heat to rise up between Kiori and Chichiri, as always. :) Can't wait for the next update!

I haven't cried this much in a while now. I wish it didn't happen but I think Koji would have liked the ending of this chapter. I don't think I can type anymore... sorry.

Emily.

Not sure whether I want Miaka finding out about this or not.. Hmm..

Yup! XD But, do the seishi really understand that gesture Ritsu?

Aww, Kouji! - But don't make promises you can't keep...

Poor Mizu-chan. Damned Setsuka, grr. But I'm feeling sorrier and sorrier for Hataku as this goes on...

Ack, element v Seishi, round 1... But is Kaze gonna obey his Lady?

Again, brilliant writing of the fight scenes. I love the way you write your action scenes.

XD! What kinda game's that? -

Whee'd he go? XD Tasuki's TRUE power Ritsu my dear.

Tasuki and Kaze are gonna meet again, I can feel it. Natural enemies those two.

Kouji.. Do not tell her the spell!

Tasuki-chan! XD

Gah, this is gonna be bad. I don't know how Chiri and Tasuki's battles are gonna turn out now.

Damn it Kiori, talk to him! You both need someone to talk to..

I'm really enjoying the growing relationship between Chiri and Kiori and Ritsu and Tasuki. It's flowing naturally and mangaes to be very entertaining.

Oh God, you're 'Aniki' is here's now Tasuki XD

I agree with Houki!

Mizu-chan, aww I'm so loving her now -

Well, that's all for tonight. It may be half term but I still have things to work on, one being my own fics. Ja Dee! -waves-

Opening the chapter is another hilarious little scene with an annoyed Yui and a Keisuke who really doesn't know when to quit -

Well Tasuki-chan, it is really your own fault. You were talking about him so much, what was Ritsu supposed to think?

Don't you just lovebandit OC's? I do -

Ritsu.. Don't push it.

Oh! Quick question. How do you come up with your japanese names? Do you make them up or is there a site you use?

Kouji had a girlfriend! I hope Tasuki doesn't push him too far.. Or he'll end up flying into a few walls himself.

After Tasuki reaction to Hotohori I dread to think what'd happen if the bandits found out just who Houki really is.

And there's Kouji :D

HAH! Wrong thing to say there Kouji... But great entrance from Ritsu.

KNEW that Ritsu would have fun with Kouji. Chichiri is going insane, no question about it.

Yay, another character. She sounds fun -

But Kouji, it's such a nice nickname! XD

Aww, Ritsu - She's gonna have one hbell of a hangover tomorrow..

... He says WHILE tucking her in XD

KYA! Kouji has joined the fight!

-waves- Yo, tis half term so I has some more time, yays -

I do like your Tetsuya/Keisuke/Yui interjections - They're fun.

Hah, Tasuki got his own back with Chichiri's 'forgetfullness' with thhat conversation. C'mon Chiri, I though ya were th' smart one _

Aww, but poor Gen-chan's head -pats him-

.. Ritsu meeting Kouji... Run Tasuki. Run now.

Oh dear, Houki and the bandits. This is gonna be fun.

HA! Oh dear lord I laughed at that. Chiri's had a sex change.. Tasuki, Chichiri's gonna KILL you.

-Shiver- Setsuka is just as evil as Nakago.. Or at least up to this point she seems to be. Damn, now I feel sorry for Hataku, poor man.

Ahh, Ritsu. I understand your pain. Those horses can be murder.

I see you have read Genrou den then. Ooh, bad move there Mt Kaou peoples. Ya should'a run.

H..Houki. Well now, not JUST an emperess are we?

Describing your characters is really hard. Ritsuka really interests me now, she's someone I can indentify with and she seems real. You've done a great job with her.

Slight error here "If only we’d been sent her during peacetime...” " I think you meant "here"

Chiri does that ALOT Kiori -

Again, what I said about Ritsuka applies to Kiori too. I just love your characters, and do for the Elements too. Although slightly different emotions arise about them as a fangirl ofcourse - But that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the great way they're written as the English student I am.

And as a last note, the idea of the three of them lookingat the stars at the same time is really poetic, great imagery.

Hi hi - Me again, I've got some spare time.

Hehe, knew Yui'd get it outta Testuya -

Hataku needs a break... Now, why do I feel that this 'all out attack' is going to go horribly wrong.. Tasuki and Chiri are gonna do some damage, me thinks.

.. Mitsubalm? XD

Yay, Kiori's found her purpose -

Knew it. Dude, the Takkan lot are in trouble...

Woah, scary Chiri. But wow those guys are scum.

Aoi? No, go and get that bandaged!

I'm actually wondering about the outcome of seishi versus element now..

Ah! Kiori! Baka, baka, baka!

She's ok, jeeze woman!Wow, Chiri...

You like noodles don't cha? XD And Chiri used too.. -

HA! Chichiri.. XD Tasuki's rather annoyed at you - And they've finally worked out it's Kouji! Yay! XD

*giggle* Loved the chapter Dee, now I gotta go work in the kitchens of the pub... Fun.. Ah well, Ja!

And out of curiosity... Ever heard of the Bleach Musicals? Off topic I know.. But I'm listening to the soundtrack and was curious so.. -shrug-