| Reviews for The Big MixUp! |
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TheAwesomeONE354 4/19/13 . chapter 2Okay, I'm still interested, but the quotes are budged in together with the paragraphs. I think you might need to fix this up a bit. Here's an example:— Instead of: As soon as the elevator door opened, Hammond and Kendra rushed to help them, Hammond in particular. While Kendra unloaded Nicole and Ellie's carts, Hammond quickly grabbed Isaac and Gabe's carts, pushed them near a table, and began unloading the goods desperately, until he finally found what he was looking for. "ALRIGHT! Grabbin' pills!" he cheered, before pouring the contents into his mouth. Kendra, concerned, tried to stop him, but Hammond only pushed her away and continued to have his pills. "Where have I heard that line before?" thought Isaac. His thoughts were interrupted when he heard someone, screaming "MARKER". He looked in the direction of the scream and watched as Lexine was being chased by a very hysterical Mercer, who was being chased by a very tired looking Kyne. Lexine was clutching a marker, screaming, "IT WAS ONLY A JOKE!" Try: As soon as the elevator door opened, Hammond and Kendra rushed to help them, Hammond in particular. While Kendra unloaded Nicole and Ellie's carts, Hammond quickly grabbed Isaac and Gabe's carts, pushed them near a table, and began unloading the goods desperately, until he finally found what he was looking for. "ALRIGHT! Grabbin' pills!" he cheered, before pouring the contents into his mouth. Kendra, concerned, tried to stop him, but Hammond only pushed her away and continued to have his pills. "Where have I heard that line before?" thought Isaac. His thoughts were interrupted when he heard someone, screaming "MARKER". He looked in the direction of the scream and watched as Lexine was being chased by a very hysterical Mercer, who was being chased by a very tired looking Kyne. Lexine was clutching a marker, screaming, "IT WAS ONLY A JOKE!" In case you don't understand, please reply and ask for more. |
TheAwesomeONE354 4/19/13 . chapter 1Okay... this is strange, but I kinda like it so far. |
AProsperousTrade 2/11/13 . chapter 12 Hello. I hope this continues. |
muredin 1/22/13 . chapter 8my eyes! they burn from the lols! |
muredin 1/22/13 . chapter 3lol... |
Cardboard 6/17/12 . chapter 4Dude. fist bump me. this is awesome. and badass. its...badawesome. Now hear me out on this...may sound crazy...add other characters from other games into the mix...Im loving where this is going.:D |
Guest 6/4/12 . chapter 11 Just for the thrill, you should actually make necromorphs on the station. It would add intensity to the humor. |
Reaper7 5/24/12 . chapter 11Ah, good. He is no longer going emo on us. It's better to be a bit of a stupid jerk than to be a useless emo. Anyway, I like this! I see you're into My Little Pony, and again I have to wonder what the HELL is so great about those ponies. Apparently they're epic, but I never have the time to look them up. Anyway, hope you update soon! |
Black Vendetta 4/16/12 . chapter 11BRO-FIST APPROVED. |
Blades252 4/14/12 . chapter 11Wow I completely forgot this fic exsisted :O Good/funny update :) |
Painted7 4/13/12 . chapter 11Bravo :D You're welcome to forcing you back in this. I'm gonna make you stick with it too. Good job though. I love the whole thing of Ellie being a nurse, when she's the one being all, well her. Good job though. |
Painted7 4/10/12 . chapter 10I think you should come back to this story. I love it(: |
Blah 12/8/11 . chapter 10 Lkdhkyhgjjgjdju bbchgj CHAPTER 11 NOW! |
Kiyoushu 9/28/11 . chapter 10im so confused... did bringing people back from the dead somehow give them herp derp syndrome that seems to have spread to people who were actually still alive when this story started or is this just random garysmodish antics were everyone is going to go through ridiculous stuff ONLY to explode at the end of this story or something? This story makes zero sense . . . . not to say its not funny because it is |
Guest 9/4/11 . chapter 1 I enjoy this story! This is a new Internet Forum that caters to writing. You should join up and post this and your other stories. Trust me, you'll get a nice warm reception. apps/forums/ |