Hey. In the summary you said that you didn't know where else you could post this story. You should try .net

if you are wondering, original works are posted on . you may get more of a response there. as for a review here: i never cared much for first person narrative. it's difficult to do, but done well and it can be awesome. i felt like there was too much telling and not enough showing. i couldn't sympathize with the character to the degree needed. there wasn't enough feeling of anger, panic, desperation, and irony. you have a great start, don't give up!