|Reviews for Golden Sun: Darkest Hour|
| clank2662 5/24/13 . chapter 22
Wtf this the end of the book. Bull
| Vampirewerewolf1 3/8/13 . chapter 9
You read Ivan's dialogue with an english accent because he is a Sherlock Holmes.
| Vampirewerewolf1 3/8/13 . chapter 3
I'd like to taste a Sour Wing.
| ThreadsToFeathers 12/31/12 . chapter 22
Weyward is Olympus?
Aha, jk, but still. It would make a little sense... I mean, they're all basically on a floating rock, there are immortal mythological beings(not all in Greek mythology, but a few), the place WAS a utopia... Until people started sealing divine beings, going to war, and craving ultimate power and crap, that is.
Awesome story! Keep it up, can't wait for next chappy! Okay, I can, but whatever. And hopefully you will get better. Depression's a %$#.
I'm so glad everything you mentioned is making sense to me.
| DaughteroftheRedKing 8/18/12 . chapter 22
loving it! please update soon.
also, i'm confused. is apollo the light adept or artemis? i mean, if it was apollo that would make sense because the apollo lens was pure light and made a town full of light adepts, but artemis' asylum can only have light people enter it...
and i liked your ideas. it's awesome that you named one of them lucia! (personally a fav name)
| DaughteroftheRedKing 8/16/12 . chapter 3
i almost cried...and the song goes perfectly! (fellow fma fan?)
| mystery box 6/22/12 . chapter 22
I know enough about Greek Mythology to know what you're talking about.
| mystery box 6/22/12 . chapter 17
Light Adepts, Dark Adepts. Apollo, Eclipse.
Anyway, I don't think it was just the children who became Light Adepts. At the end of Dark Dawn, everyone in Belinsk (except Sveta) had golden fur, signifying they were Light Adepts. Sveta had gray fur, signifying Wind.
| mystery box 6/22/12 . chapter 16
Good. Amiti's not dead. Amd I bet it's Sveta waiting for them at the docks.
Is there going to be Spiritshipping? I hope so.
| mystery box 6/22/12 . chapter 11
YES! Piers is awesome! :D
| Guest 6/22/12 . chapter 10
Well, I bet that's Silver trying to capture Amiti because the Empyror "wanted to speak wiith him." Also, YAY FOR STORMSHIPPING!
| mystery box 6/22/12 . chapter 5
Ooh, Alex kidnapped Isaac and chained him somewhere! SUSPENSE!
Great so far.
| OMNISENSE95 6/9/12 . chapter 3
Yeah, first off; Tyrell's eyes are light blue, not emerald. Second, it's redundant to say "stupid idiot". Just "idiot" would be grammatically correct.
| OMNISENSE95 5/26/12 . chapter 22
I understood perfectly. But, since you stated that Matthew and Sveta are Light Adepts, I'm guessing that they can use Light Psynergy in addition tp thier original elements, right? Although, I also noticed that neither of them have used Psynergy once in this entire story, so I can't really judge it. P.S.: Himi still hasn't had any explict dialouge.
| Daedalus370 5/25/12 . chapter 22
Greetings, Lulls, and might I say that it's refreshing and enthusing to see a two-chapter continuation of this story. Surprises loom in every corner as the plot thickens almost uncontrollably and leaves me just as confused as Matty. I'll get to this later, though, for now is the time to review:
Forgive me for saying this, but both chapters felt like rush jobs, not merely the last section of the second chapter. Everything was made of simple and compound sentences without commas, and everywhere I looked there were boundless punctuation errors, mostly regarding commas between spoken sentences and the he-said-she-said's. These two obstructions gave the two chapters a lacking and inscrutable feel, one which made me think, "When was this story so minced and choppy? I don't remember it being like this."
An easy way to fix the first weakness is to create more complex and compound-complex sentences, while the second requires a replacement of the periods with commas and a lower-casement of the he-said-she-said's. Doing this will better the flow, reduce confusion, and improve the readers' concentration on the story.
Next up is the vocabulary. Sure, it hasn't worsened, but it hasn't bettered either. Commonly used words appear greatly more than the flashy and interesting ones, and while this is perfectly fine for romance and family stories it is a detriment to suspenseful and adventurous stories. To improve this, try to utilise words you rarely speak or peruse the thesaurus for well-flavoured ones with a lot of meaning.
Your character description and action description have both improved greatly, and even the smallest of actions are detailed without hampering the flow too much (this just so happens to be one of my greatest flaws). Very good job right there for finding a decent ratio.
The plot is getting especially interesting. Sailor-Moon-esque goddesses are being introduced both left and right, and two members of the gang were revealed to be Light Adepts. The latter would explain the repulsion between Sveta and Echo and their fellow relationship with the younger of the story's two protagonists, now that I think about it. Regardless, I cannot say that I was bored during these two supplemental chapters, but maybe it was a little too thick in terms of plot revelation. Over the while, I stopped getting surprised of these tidbits about deities or even the inclusion of this High Empyress of sorts. Like I said before, it wasn't boredom that stopped the surprise, but the predictability that something new was to arrive.
Now, I'm curious . . . why in the world would Lady Mercury, one of the goddesses of old, serve food and beverages to random travellers such as the merry band of Adepts? She and Lady Venus sought people who would serve them, right? If that's so, why would she serve -them- in turn? I was most confused by this, almost as confused as Matty.
I don't know what else to talk about at this time, so I shall cut this short. I enjoyed these two chapters, but they had some unfortunate flaws that diminished my inquisitiveness to almost nothing in the end. Hopefully your next chapter(s) will revive my interest to full power sometime soon, and as such I look forward to it. Ciao, and happy reading and writing, Lulls!