Brilliant short story that shows what may happen if they werent evil. i laughed at some of these and could actually believe it! 10/10 but just do more and add more characters

I admit, this is an interesting and a unique approach. The reason it is unique is questioning what it would be like if was different.

It's not that the hotel is evil though. More like the people there, as well as the place. Now, as this is based on the game, somewhat, I don't blame you for mentioning all of them as bad, but if you go by the anime, you can tell that only some of them are.

Now, while this is an interesting idea, this seems more like a summary to me. All it is is explaining the differences between the characters, which isn't all that interesting to read, story wise. I think this should be on your profile, or you explain in your author's notes that the characters are different. Maybe mention it is AU or something.

Now, I am very interested in this story. But, I would like to see the actual story, instead of this.

That's really well written.