|Reviews for Nothing More|
| TheLOLEater 3/7/12 . chapter 4
| nupinoop296 4/20/11 . chapter 4
That was sweet and not derpy at all. :)
| TheInkgirl 4/7/11 . chapter 2
The first thing I'm going to say, is: Way to be awesome! Seriously, you're doing so many things right that you ought to pat yourself on the back and reward yourself with a cookie before going on.
Now, for some things I'm really impressed with: Characterization. Your characterization is wonderful. You manage to keep everyone in character (a hard task, in and of itself); and, at the same time, you manage to give enough new insight into the characters to be, both interesting, and really fun to read. And-because this can't be stressed enough-you're doing both at the same time (which is one of the most difficult aspects of fanfiction-writing). Most fanfiction writers really veer off one way or the other.
I also gotta say, I love the family portrayal of the characters. I love touches like: Matt being the automatic choice for Arthur's confidant, or America's fake sleeping (random of me, I know; but those were some moments that just clicked!)
Your writing is very natural and flows very well (plus, I just plain like your writer's voice:). You definitely write drama well; and you manage to do so without writing a complete angst-fest (not that angst one-shots aren't good in their own right-they are! But I'm totally enjoying your plot-driven pathos). You also insert just enough humor to give the atmosphere its moments of lightness. And your humor and pathos actually *blend* (instead of coming off as bi-polar;).
And I love the subject. The North-American brothers and England are some of my favorite characters in the show (as well as countries, in real life;). And I'm always interested to see their relationships fleshed out.
Now for constructive criticism! If you don't like criticism, you can skip the next paragraph and call it good.;) To be quite honest, I don't even like writing criticism-I'm always afraid of deterring a good writer, instead of helping them. But I'm going to, this time, because I like this story. It's a good story! And, it could be even better. :)
I am a bit confused as to when the story takes place. At the beginning of the story, it says that Alfred has only recently left Arthur. But, Al also already owns a bomber jacket and a phone; and world meetings already happen. I wondered if the story might be a bit AU (and, if that is the case, I'd suggest saying so at the beginning, so as not to distract the readers from a good story). Of course, they often have technology before-it's-time in the comic (kind of as a joke); so you might have just been eluding to the comic (and I'm just being a bit dense;). The other thing I found mildly distracting was the names. Don't get me wrong! I love the human names; and I'm glad you're using them for your leads (besides, names are just fun). I was just a bit confused when the other countries were being known by their official-nation-names, instead of their human ones.
Don't worry about the mechanics errors you found though! They were pretty insignificant; and, you're right-that darn spell-check misses all kinds of things, doesn't it?
Anyway, I'm really interested to see where you're going with this: whether you'll write a hetalia version of the literal history between the NA bros and England for the next 150-odd yrs (1812, anglo-american rift, etc); or whether this will be a what-might-have-been kind of fic. Either way sounds like all kinds of fun to read. I'm definitely subscribing. :)
I can't stress how much I liked this story enough! Keep being awesome; and I hope you have as much fun writing the next chapter as I had in reading the first two!
| JewishLolita 4/5/11 . chapter 1
I can't wait to read more from this fan fiction!
| Guest 4/4/11 . chapter 1
I'm sort of confused... Shouldn't Matthew be on Arthurs side? Because he's still Arthurs colony? Why is he helping Alfred? But other then that, I can't wait to see what's next! :D