Noo! You just leave us in the part where it geting good,and than you abonden us! Don't tell me your going to pulla "I must have so and so many reviews before I write, cause I fell like being a jerk." sort of thing!
That is evil. I should know, cause ive done it myself,AND NOTHING GOOD CAN COME OF IT! NOTHING!
How would feel if you were reading bartimaus, and all of a sudden the book just had blank pages?
Your'e the author of one story, so you don't have the "I was working on something else' exuse either.
And, did you name his demon, Morrigan , after the irish God of Death? Just wondering.
I thought for sure would be his mother. *Sigh*
If you don't write , im probably going to have to do the only thing I can on the internet. Spamming or Stalking.
I definitely see potential in this, although it looks like you’re about to abandon it, with the last update being in April and all. If you don’t, I would like to point out a few things about it.
Your lead has a tendency for the Mary Sue-ish currently. From the first chapter Morrigan practically worships him and you described him as being good looking, buff, with magical resistance, the youngest guy in internal affairs, has two powerful demons working for him for years without complaining and knowing his true name without using it to their advantage. He’s good with knives and has his own seven league boots which are, according to the book, very rare. I suggest you work on some negative aspects of his character before you continue with Arthur as the lead. Very unbalanced character.
What I like about this is the possibility that you raise. I never thought about Nathaniel’s biological family before, and the possibility he might have someone other than Kitty and Bartimaeus in the world that might care for him. Although hard to believe since his parents sent him away for money pretty quickly from what is read in AoS. But I’d like to see how well you can pull it off.
“She laid a stack of papers on his desk that he would have to read threw and sign later.”
“she's been threw a very difficult ordeal."
‘threw’ should be ‘through’
"Where is Ms. Quimby now?" and other callout places for the mother
‘Ms.’ Should be ‘Mrs.’
“Other people have gone missing and they can't do a dam thing about it”
not bad . . . The intro is a definite hook, attention-grabbing, and written pretty well. you should continue, I think, even though I find the relationship between Morrigan and Arthur a little hard to believe, but that's just me. After all, Nathaniel and Bartimeaus got along? Kinda ironic that his brother had the same name as his hated master . . . :)
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