|Reviews for Tearing at the Fabric|
| Guest 6/19/13 . chapter 8
Um... Hermione was never in the chamber of secrets...
| damon 6/17/13 . chapter 64
Its a wonder how you want to hate the story but you keep on reading and at the end you can't help but love it completely !
P.S- I think in the honour of the Weasley Twins the chapter 'Battle of beauxbatons' should be renamed to
'The dance of the wands' :P
Thank you for the most wonderful story in a long time :)
| Fullofpassion09 6/16/13 . chapter 49
Yeah she's not going to take to kindly...
| Fullofpassion09 6/16/13 . chapter 48
She's likely to kill you Tom.
| Fullofpassion09 6/16/13 . chapter 46
| Fullofpassion09 6/16/13 . chapter 45
I'm so torn between fan girling and crying for Ced.
| Fullofpassion09 6/16/13 . chapter 38
| Michelle 6/16/13 . chapter 64
There is so much about this story I like. I appreciate really that you kind of broke the mold of the typical romance by making it a love that almost was. Poignant, unexpected and fun. There were just two things that didn't work that detracted from the story.
The first is perhaps the most crucial and that is characterization. Hermione is the main character and although you gave her a past and told us many things about her we never really got in her head. Her emotions, thoughts and opinions are almost a complete blank slate. Things happen but we have no reaction or explanation of what Hermione is thinking/feeling/etc. This really made it difficult for me to invest in her or her romance with Tom as you never knew what she was feeling or thinking about him. I realize that you always intended for the reader to wonder who was seducing who and what was real and what was fabrication when it came to the Hermione/Tom romance. The problem is that you still needed to show the reader what your characters were feeling and thinking. Adding the emotional and rational component ups the stakes and gives substance to events. As for the Cedric thing... I had no idea that was coming and it came off as a complete out of the blue 180 from the rest of the story.
The second thing that really didn't quite work was the choice of love interests you gave Hermione. It was all the hot boys all the time. Hermione couldn't emotionally commit, so the reader couldn't either. Becoming invested in a romance is absolutely essential in a story that revolves around a romance. That you chose the hottest movie guys to have had a relationship with her or want one, and generally pamper her, didn't help. This screamed Mary Sueness. Pleading the novelty factor doesn't fix it either. You needed to limit all the pretty sparkly hotness so the reader can focus on what's important and doesn't think your character is getting too big for her britches.
The final thing I noticed is that Albus, Cedric and Hermione were determined and ready to fix fate when they first went back. Then that plot thread kinda vanished. Hooking Tom up with Hermione was a high risk proposition and it should never have been their only plan. They also needed to be focused on their progress and how best to tip the scales in their favor. Instead, Cedric and Hermione go off to dating fluff-land. Then there was the whole Grindlewald and Durmstrang bit. Running off to play with Grindlewald was nuts as it put everything they wanted to do in jeopardy. Besides, he was never a real thread and would die as expected. As for the Durmstrang lessons... what was the point? Why was this important? You never really explained this and it was never important to the plot.
Please don't think that I'm slamming this fic. It really is a fun read. I think it just needs some tweaking. I don't know if you'd be willing to rewrite the whole fic, so keep the issues I've raised in mind for future fic. You have talent as a writer and only need to polish your craft.
| Fullofpassion09 6/16/13 . chapter 33
I almost need to stop here... Dear gods its going to be nasty.
| Fullofpassion09 6/16/13 . chapter 26
Oh no... Not a good revelation maybe she shoul have been up front with Ced about what Dumbles wanted her to do.
| Fullofpassion09 6/16/13 . chapter 24
I fully think she could have tamed the playboy lmao interesting turn.
| Fullofpassion09 6/16/13 . chapter 19
She's got some major admirers I almost wish we could see how Sirius and them would react.
| Fullofpassion09 6/16/13 . chapter 12
My stomach hurts from chuckling!
| Fullofpassion09 6/16/13 . chapter 5
Loving this Mione.
| Fullofpassion09 6/16/13 . chapter 3
I'm so torn because if the final pair is Mione and Tom something has to happen and I adore Cedric. Or is their relationship like Harry and Mione where its pure love but they shape the path between familial and romantic straddling the line?