This is really good writing. I like the fact that theres a lot of dialogue. I can totally picture this happening after the Music Man. The one problem that I could find was that this may not necessarily have happened based on the time period that the Music Man took place in. Other than that, this is amazing.

That was great! I love all of your stories! They are very well written and checked probably, a lot. Am I right? Well do not ever give up on writing. you are so good!