Oh! That was gorgeous! The motion of the story was just perfect. You built it up to a fantastic climax. Really excellent work. I loved that first section and how you introduced the characters and explained their relationship. It was really excellent.

I only have a couple of critiques. The second section is really beautiful, but it's a bit confusing in terms of what's actually happening and where they are on the ship, so that could've been a touch clearer. Also, in the last section, it's hard to tell how much time has passed since the second part and that makes in a little hard to follow for the reader.

However, this story is gorgeous. I love that last pargraph and how you described Chekov's outlook on life. I think my favorite part, though, was this: "It's tentative, the feeble grasp of a child, grabbing hold of hands bigger than their own, but then suddenly it's not; it's the hold of a eighteen year old adult who clings to you with an equal strength." It just so perfectly expresses the emotion of the scene and how Sulu feels about Chekov. It really worked well.

Anyway, marvelous. I really enjoyed reading this and I hope you write more about these two.

-Old Fiat

Wow. This was written absolutely stunningly. Second person is so difficult, but the way you used it was perfect. Gave the story something it wouldn't have had in any other point of view.

So yeah. This was brilliant.

-Miko

Such a great study of the fragility of love. Thoroughly enjoyed the relationship as it develops in Sulu's voice. Thank you!

Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES.

The idea, the narrative, the descriptions - beautiful, wonderful, amazing.

Thank you for making me smile this morning - you know I love you, yes?