okay, this is all wrong

for one, goku dosn't turn ss4 untill GT

secound goku wasn't even alive when goten turned ss

Friend, if you're going to write a story get you facts write

ps it's Vedel..._

It's a good thing it's not following the series. because i have never heard of pretend warriors. Anyway I think your really improving. Keep up the good work!

Ok...don't get mad at me or anything but I don't think that is what the char. act like at all. Maybe you can watch DBZ more and then I think you will be a better writer. I look forward to seeing if you improve.

Um..It was ok. And thats it not good not bad just OK.

Not bad.

funny!

more soon please!

OH! that explains it! _ good chapter!

um ok. good job for a 12 year old?

Hey Ian! It's me Anh-Thu! Hows it going? I decided to check out your stuff! This fanfic is alright but you have many spelling errors here. I suggest you use spell check. And try to make your chapters longer with some more detail. This is definately NOT a flame! It's just me giving her friend some advice. So don't get pissed! But this is good so keep going! Oh yeah! Sherina and I are working on a fanfic together! You know, for fun! It's on our shared account kawaii-lil-azn-gurlz. Can you please read it and tell me if it's ok? Thanks! TTYL! _

WolfOfDarkness

Original, but it's hard to read. I have 1 question, how old are you?

WHats vegeta's game

...its videl. its ki, not chi. you even spelled bad words wrong.

I love it, I'm a huge Dragonball/ Dragonball Z fan wanna talk on MSN

Cool story. It's very kawaii!

I like the story, but I just want to point out a few things...

1. Videl (devil, just unscramble it!
2. Kakorotto

3. Ki Blasts