I'd like to thank you both for your reviews this is a fic which I wrote for a one hour challenge, and I just couldn't get it right.

I've been meaning to work on it for a while, so any feedback is extremely helpful.

The plan is to rewrite the whole thing with the same general idea and maybe a few of the same scenes. My main problem with this fic, of course, was the ending. I hated it but I couldn't think of anything better at the time (one hour, remember). I didn't want to rewrite any specific piece of it until I could do the whole thing so that's what I'll do.

I'm afraid I'm going to have to agree with NZ on this one.
Just when I think I know what's going on something else confuses me. First off, I need to know the rules of the contest starting off. Then I need to know who's writing what, and if they're writing or if they're doing something. My suggestion is to go character by character, tell which character is writing and then italicize or otherwise separate what they write from the rest of the fic.

It's an interesing idea, it just needs some work.

geez, where do i begin?

i'm assuming that what you are trying to describe is some kind of fanfiction writting contest between the various charecters, and that somehow from this mess a new reality will be created. or maybe not.

the problem is, i'm not quite sure just what the hell is going here at all. some 'scenes' seem to be in the real world, and some in the stories that the charecters are writting, but for the most part I can't tell which scenes belong in which reality.

my advise is to rewrite this fic with a single, coherent plotline as a framework for the story, and to insert the bits that are written by the charecters in seperate, CLEARLY MARKED sections.

without such changes, this fic must inevitably end up on the large pile that i like to call crap.

Okay, I'm a little confused, but I'd like to see what happens next!