Steven,

I know I said something to this effect in e-mail, but I figured it was worth repeating here. This fic is a major achievement in terms of hard work and "sticktoitiveness." It will be a long time before someone can match its length, and it certainly says something that it took you close to 2 years to write.
It's true, this fic isn't perfect. I think a lot of dialogue could have been cut without sacrificing the story, and I have some issues with the characterization of Darren.
However, you can always look at this and "Revelations" as a starting point, and learn from the criticisms. Perhaps it will lead you to write something professionally someday.

I've been waiting for this chapter a long, long time and I have to say I really liked it, it has some really funny parts and I have come to love (and hate, Rory and Krystal for example) the characters in this continuum and I can't wait to know what will happen next. I'd also like to see a little more of Trent in the story and more romance between Tom and Daria. I think you're a really talented and dedicated writer and I hope to see more of your work *soon)

First I should make a confession. I didn't actually read this chapter. I quickly skimmed trough it.

Based on this I do however feel qualified do make a few observations.

1: The new characters are so numerous and are given so much space, that there is no point in calling it a "Daria" fanfic. Rather it should have been posted under "Original/General Fiction".

2: The author does not understand the art of leaving something to the readers imagination. Every person, item and event gets described down to the last detail. Resulting in a story of absurd length given the modest amount of actual plot.

3: Human conversation does not sound like this.

4: The characters aren't believable.

5: Mary Sue... Nuff said.

By themself each of these are enough to ruin a fic completely. Combine them and you get the fanfic equivalent of "Plan 9 From Outer Space".

...or as Daria would say "It came from planet stupid".

I like updates. Updates are nice. Can you PLLLEEEASSEEE update?

*koff koff* Mary Sue *koff*koff

Do you realise you have totalled almost half a million words of Mary sue fanfics? *sigh*

This fic is wonderful! Really, it is! It should have much more reviews. Much more. Stupid mean people who don't review great fics...

I LOVE IT!

This fic rules waiting not too paitnetly for the rest hurry hurry hurry more more more! *jumps up and down squealing*

I came to enjoy this story, although it took a while. Frankly, I almost didn't make it through Daria's opening diary entry. Nothing interesting happened until Tom met Daria in the terminal. After that, it was a while until the next interesting thing.

You have a good plot here, and your spelling and grammar are good, but the dialogue is intermittent. There are good segments interspersed with bad and very bad segments. Most of the very bad parts are Daria's. They are sometimes (not always) out of character and just painful to read.
And you need to condense this quite a bit. I'm impressed at the size of the piece (really- it shows a lot of dedication, and also that you enjoyed writing it.) But there's a lot of superfluous verbiage. It would be much more enjoyable to read if it were edited down.
Bottom line- I enjoyed the story so far, I'm waitiing for the rest, and I hope you write more after this one.

This is one of the best Daria fanfics I have

ever read

I have no problem with Mary Jane fanfics as long as they are well written and they are fun to read

and this is defanitly the case

I like the darren series quite a bit and hope I see some more storys with him in it.

thank you

love this fic, please get the next chapter out soon)