After getting in touch with Persona 3 again (listening to Kimi no Kioku does that to you), I decided to start reading some Persona 3 fiction again.
While your story was a bit disjointed at times and could have been better structured, I was amazed at the depth of Naoto's characterization in regards to her development and her relationship to Minato. I've always been a fan of the Minato/Naoto sibling story (regardless of canon) and your story did not disappoint in the slightest.

What makes your story even better is that you decided to take it upon yourself to expand into actual story mechanics present in Persona 4. I must say that you did a wonderful job expanding on the "facing the truth" motif P4 was aiming for; hell it makes a lot more sense than what the game offered.
Besides the structuring that at times disrupted the flow of the story, you did a hell of a job on this one. I do wish I could say this more, but this has to be one of the better, if not one of the best Persona fiction I've encountered in ages. I look forward to any other Persona fiction you may decide to write in the future.

Good work!

OH MY GOD THIS MADE ME CRY. This seriously made me cry, and for that, AMAZING JOB!

Loved it! Absolutely loved it. Very touching and beautiful the way you described each scenario. I seriously hope that Atlus will do the right thing and make the "Minato and Naoto siblings" thing canon. This was some very powerful stuff, here. Nice work!

Loved it, though it's a little hard to follow the timeline in some parts but other than that beautiful work.

-sniffle- I'll admit, I was crryyyiiinnnng throughout the entire last half of this -sob-