"What's depressing is the realization that in ten years, I'll be thinking the same thing about what I'm writing now.
As life goes! I love going back on my old stories from teenhood and reminiscing about how awesome my friends thought they were. And I read them and go 'What the FUCK? How the hell did anyone get through this?
I did like this little snippet, of yours, though. While the story is short, it's too the point, and it kind of has a happy ending. :D And your flair for absorbing your readers right into your words, for however short a time, is still very prevalent.

I liked it.)

Now I wanted to start back at some of your older pieces…and to me, this is more complex than it appears. Maybe I just have a way of over analyzing things, which is true…shock, huh? However, beside a story on Zell’s failure, followed by Squall’s…I see this as more of a circular piece. It starts with Ultimecia, and the line Squall says ‘but we can kill ourselves.’ After it is over and the characters step back, each could look at their mistakes asking ‘what if.’ The circle would be infinite, from Cid to Ellone, from Laguna to Rinoa. There would be no end, as each event affected another…each character is technically to blame for something. And in the end, it would snowball out of control. So to me yes, it is a shorter piece, but is only part of a larger story.

This fic has a good premise, and it's written well. However, it is far too abrupt and the focus is too blurry for the impact to be anywhere near as good as it could've been. First, since nothing new happened to change his mindset, I can't really see Zell as one to off himself for fucking up. He gets down on himself, but he always tries his best, no matter what anyone says. So, to me at least, it was OOC of him to shoot himself without any real reason other than the depression of his own mistakes a sign of character he gave no indication to possessing in the game.

Also, this fic just doesn't have focus. It would've been much better if you ended it after Zell killed himself. Including Squall simply muddled the scope of the story, and made me scratch my head. I thought you were trying to explore Zell? It's possible to explore two characters, but in a piece of this brevity, Squall's part at the end felt so improper to be included at all. As a piece that centers on a persons thoughts, including someone else's "just because" didn't do anything but harm the story.

That said, this is still written well, and I did enjoy it somewhat. I know that you wrote this almost 3 years ago, and are probably not really looking for any creative feedback at this point. But, in the off chance that you are... there you go. Just some ways it could've been better, in the opinion of a nobody.

I still liked it, though.

No! Sad! I wonder what doubt struck Zell before he pulled the trigger?*is sad now
tiger

This was totally good. I love your writing style.

This was very disturbing. I'd been on a cloud all day until I read this example of poor literature. Keep up the good work.

E...GADS... Nice.

I loved it, short sweet, but ohhhhhhhh soooo good! Don't get me wrong, I like Zell, but I just love the way it was so simple yet believable. "My EYES, I can't see MY EYES!"

Wow...10/10

two words. Weird. but Cool. In a weird sort of way.

That was really short and depressing. God, you really did have a sugar high didn't you? Damn that was depressing!

Very very depressing. I don't view Zell as being that depressed to claim his own life. He is very cheery throughout the game, and something that is that dark and depressing is not what you would expect. Very well written though!

::sniffle i love zell, u should read my fic "why me?" ah hell why dont u read all my fics...

HOW COULD YOU KILL ZELL? *crying inconsolably*

that was...sad but it needs a more written plot. But...how was that CHEERFULLY depressing...?