Ooh, very, very well done. The plot was excellent and it was a nice spin on the "Magic Evil Monkey" story that I myself am more familiar with.

You forgot some commas here and there but I probably noticed solely because I'm such a comma-fan anyway. _
Happy writing!

Kat

A wonderful piece of work. Short and sweet. I was going to print the whole story out, and read it before I went to sleep, but I read the first word. Then, I sat and read the whole thing. The same happens with all of your stories! Keep up the great work!

Me again Tim. Gosh, I'm reading these at a really slow pace
So, this time it's 'The Monkey'. As I began it I was interested mainly because not many of your other works (scratch that: None) have been a failure.

But then I was totally turned off when the characters accused Jehovah's Witnesses of being Satanists. I, being a JW myself, was quite offended (I know its fiction. But was the remark truly necessary
Now, this story wasn't as good as, say, "the lost storehouse'', but then again I'm a sucker for works containing atlantis and Natla. I just, -just-, finished reading this (took an hour!) and I have to say it really didn't appeal to me. Almost like the one about Paris. I sort of found it boring.

Now I just have to read "Hell Hath No Fury" and I've read your library.

I hope you write another work soon. We need more Radley in this world!-Ashton

"The Monkey" was a quite suspenseful read though I guess I'm one of the few readers who prefer the longer to shorter stories. I felt like the minor characters appeared and 'vanished' rather quickly and drastically but I guess that's frequent in the horror/supernatural genre). Lara's no-nonsense attitude is spot on, imo. I especially liked the parts where she is interacting with her uncle and dryly cuts his ramblings off. The Monkey's evil doings and the effects of Lara's decay on her mind are masterfully described so that I felt a growing sense of unease as the story progressed... Off to read your other stories)!

a thoroughly entertaining piece of art you've accomplished here. I found your earlier stories to be a bit too long and overdescriptive, but this was just perfect for a one go read. Very sharp and pointed dialogues, especially in the car, would like to be able to do that myself. Maybe I would have played with the 'be careful what you wish for' element a little more, but the sickness alone was quite sufficient. Good job. It shouldn't be too hard to think of a follow up, so why don't you try? I'd love to read it.

i might be a little too tough on you but i think that the ending was a little bland. don't get me wrong! i loved the story so much but the ending was somehow abrupt and made me say "that couldn't be it it came out of nowhere!
i may not be right but is it that you got fed up with writing and you just wanted to get it finished? if that is the case, think about redoing it and expanding it a little.

and many people have liked the story so far (me too) so i'll understand if you don't want to redo it

Silence eerily fills the room, creeping through every corner in shadow. But then a chilling scream pierces through the gloom, echoing and richoting off the walls.

It's not a BSB concert, it's me. What do I mean? I LOVE YOUR WORK KEEP WRITING! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!
Also, the first paragraph proves that there is only one Tim Radley.

P.S. Try putting it in chapters, that way we'll be able to see your work more often! You absolutely are my FAVOURITE author.

Oh wow...that was an amazing piece of work! You did such a terrific job! Freakin' creepy little monkey...I always knew they were evil.

Okay, I stand corrected. You're not Jeffery Archer you're Alfred Hitchcock. Nice little thriller, sir. I've always thought monkeys were freaky little bastards anyway. And Lara's little "affliction" provided a nice sense of urgency and made it that much more disturbing. Although it was a little odd to see her playing tennis in Monte Carlo...

BTW I was blundering around some of the TR sites and noticed you put a link to my story at Village Of Tokakeriby (how the hell do you pronounce that, anyway?). Just wanted to say thanks.

What a horrid little story and I mean that in a good way). A totally effective chiller there Tim. I'm not sure that I have any particular criticisms. Personally I'd cut some of the dialogue from the first meeting between Lara and her naughty Uncle Radders, and I'd probably not make the first scene in Africa the first scene, if you know what I mean I'd probably make it a flash back. Niggles really. To what extent does the story follow the story of that Robert Louis Stevenson story you mention? I must say that you've certainly mixed in a fair amount of darkness into the story is it me, or is your Lara getting darker? No bad thing, IMO.

There had been some discussion as to whether anyone would write a really good horror story in Lara's universe.

Tim's answered that question most definitely in the affirmative.

The tale starts from jump street and doesn't let up. Very well done, greatly enjoyed it!

I absolotely LOVED this! As soon as I saw it posted, I knew it would be excellent, since I just finished reading (and rereading!"Black Flame". Again, your characterization of Lara is spot on, and your other characters are so well written that it's impossible not to fall into teh story. The action is great, your style flawless, and your dialouge really makes this shine. Keep up the fantstic work, because I'm already waiting for the next one!