haha pretty awesome, keep it going.

So true, that bit about the sun.

For a first fic you've done well.

My only criticism (and it's constructive) would be to change how you paragraph, they're a bit all over the place at the moment which makes it hard to read.

I am atrocious about making stupid little spelling errors and with grammar rules, so I use a beta. I advise you, if possible, get a beta who will give you some advice and will double check your work.

I adore this story, it's one of my favourites already.

I hope you update soon!