hopefully you get it fixed soon i like this story.

I am sorry to hear about your computer, i hope it gets fixed soon, i cannot wait to read more.

I wonder if Dumbledor is going to be obtuse and still insist Harry go back to Dulsey's house or will he let Severus to take care of Harry since he is more close or blood related than the Dulseys.

HI!

What do you mean by 'power range'?
Wouldn't being a metamorphmagus come from Sirius as hes related to Tonks?

wouldn't Snape NOT (no italics) be the heaviest sleeper because he's a spy?

first a dazed sev now shocked!

Please, if you answer my reviews please answer in one. You don't have to though,

Yours Crazy.

It's me!

Are they third years? cause I can't tell :O

Apologetically is spelt wrong.

Severus in a daze... sounds funny'having' in Mya's letter

Mya sounds really familiar with Ginny

bye bye!

I'm gunna annoy yah to death.

So

1. I forgot to say awesome chapter name for the last one- who am I? It made me giggle.

2. Yes I'm changing how I write these cause I'm reviwing each chapter of the awesome story cause I keep thinking of more. I don't usually bother, but it's to make you finnish this. Hardly anyone does so I'm giving you... uh... 'support'... I hope *Grins
idea? I can imagine Harry calling Sev 'Papa' I dunno why.

Mya have two different coloured eyes or are they green with brown in them? Can you explain that sentence cause I don't really get it.- how are the brown eyes like Harry's

5. Please tell me if you don't want this for each chapter I will stop.

Hi again!

Righto, just so you know Gringotts has a double 't' and floo double 'o
uh- I think its meant to be 'it's' just lost memories.

I love how Mya's (hermione is too long) mum's name is Jean, Mya's middle name. Gibblehook is an awesome Goblin name. Gibblehook... it sounds so cool! Can I use it in my story? *Puppy dog eyes* Harry's exta-ordanairily (?) long name- LOL! Mya's too! Mya would make an awesome sis for Harry.

Seeya,

Crazy

Hi,

I really enjoy your story, that's why i'm adding it to my favourites. It's really well written but there's a couple of mistakes, maybe you could get a beta and they wouldn't be. I'm not trying to judge you or anything, I'm know my work has mistakes somewhere in it too.

Anyway, the first thing is 'said' when Hermione doesn't want cereal, tackless is also one word, at least it is in the book; I think housework is too.

Now for the question divination -the sky? what is that? Sorry if I sound stupid.

Ideas- maybe Transfiguration'change could be business studies? Children may be better called 'child care.
Brilliant things about this story- Snape is very well in character (perfect language, command obedience), Hermione is cool, and how you go into detail about the school she goes to and what she changes it for muggles, I like Hermione's friends. Another good thing is how the point-of-view is like how it is in the books, like someone is there in Harry's thoughts and looking around.

Sorry for the long review, but the story is very enjoyable,

Yours,

Crazy:

Cool! Look forward to the next update.

i like how harry and hermoine act like the twins and plzz write more

ti devol

Nice story,but is there more chapters...?

This is a good idea for a story; however there are quite a few elements of the actual writing of it that could use improvement
1. Grammar and spelling- you really must read through the chapter CAREFULLY at least twice after writing it. Make sure each word is used correctly, make sure the sentence flows. Please note- a sentence should never be more than two lines of test. In chapter one you had a run-on sentence which lasted for over six lines). Punctuation is your friend. Full stops, comma’s, colon etc all tell us when to take a breath, where emphasis lies, and which parts of the sentence go together. Without them it is really hard word to read.

2. Pace and presence- you need to slow down. Reading this story is like being in a 100-metre sprint. It needs to be more like a marathon; points should gradually add up to make a complex and enthralling story. It shouldn’t be a case of ‘this happened and this happened, and this and this and that’.

3. Setting and Tone- you need to get the environment right. I can’t picture this house. I’m guessing it is a traditional Edwardian building. You gave a quick floor plan. You didn’t explain how they feel about it. Quite bland description like“They stepped inside Hinda Villa to find an absolutely beautiful entrance with a marble floor and a high ceiling.” should be expanded on. Something like “As they stepped over the threshold into Hinda Villa, Harry and Hermione were struck by the beauty of the entrance hall. White columns connected the marble floor to the vast, intricately designed Edwardian ceiling, complete with ceiling roses, coving and extremely large brass chandelier style light fitting. The gilded balustrades and handrails glistened with the reflection of the sun that shone through the windows into this room like a sun trap. Harry blinked his eyes slowly and attempted to take in the beauty of the pristine space and the pride he felt at being able to see such a place for himself.

4. Placement- While we’re on the matter, a lot of your words are not British or Scottish at all. ‘Hinda’ is a prime example. I know you are Australian, but you need to think about the location of your story. English place names stem from Roman, Anglo-Saxon and Nordic roots. Maybe Handal, or Harewalk, or Homestead would be more suitable names for a typically English building.
The plot is good though. If you want to improve this, I suggest going back to the beginning, and carefully editing each chapter and replacing the content, then start with the new chapter with the above ideas in mind. I hope this helps.-Vulpine Vixi

Can't wait for the next chapter!)

This is a bit too OOC for me, and the grammar and other mistakes are a bit too hard to read but I like the general idea of the story)