Lovely! I'm unsure whether this would have been better if the characters names were mentioned. On one hand, it would have helped with character identification, on the other, I got a lovely thrill every time I worked out who it was about.
Either way, brilliant story!
Noideagirl

Dear Lord, if you don't continue this, I will hunt you down and give you a right smack! Don't you worry about stepping on any toes, darling, because this is far too fabulous to worry about such nonsense.
First of all, I love the present-tense throughout; I always think it's a tricky business using present tense in stories, but it really works well here.

I also love the way you bring the characters to life and give them such depth, and in so short a space.

In short, I am absolutely dying to see more, and I hope you post an update soon!