Interesting plot, though I found the character development and setting lacking. Develop your characters more so that the reader will see more than a one sided individual. In other words, try to avoid making your characters "flat" and instead work on them to get them on a "dynamic" level.

Additionally, work on details in the story. Such as what a character is wearing or what species they are. For the at least 1/2 of your fic, I had no idea what your characters even looked like.

For the setting, even the most minor details can help the reader visualize a scenario. Even mentioning some sights that a character notices will help (i.e a computer monitor blinking, an insignia, lights flickering dimly in the halls, etc.)

Again, it had an interesting plot but it needs more work.