|Reviews for Bats Breath! I spilled my guava whip!|
| Mrs.Phineas Bogg 6/14/11 . chapter 1
Cool missing moment. You picked a great one to tell. I like you called Phineas a 'Jack of All trades' sometimes I call Jon-Erik Hexum that. :) I can imagine them landing on the beautiful island and the pretty woman helping them.
I do have a suggestion. You only need to say their full names once in the story, at the beginning. After that all you have to write is 'Phineas said' and 'Jeffrey laughed' or whatever it is. You don't need to keep writing out the full names. Only if they are introducing themselves to another character.
| Cruelest Sea 6/11/11 . chapter 1
| Voyager Tip 6/9/11 . chapter 1
A good missing moment! I always wondered what might have happened in Hawaii! Now you've given me something to think about. I like how you included the phrase "not now kid" when Bogg was kissing the girl because it made me think of Episode 2: Created Equal (LOL). I also like that you had Bogg ask if Jeff was okay after their landing in the water in Hawaii, he would do that. I also liked that Bogg said he'd like a kid like Jeff, it reminded me of him saying almost that very thing to Rita in Episode 2. Keep writing!