That opening. Oof. Cringe-worthy in the most perfect way.

You do an excellent job of implying what was happening, and touching on the lack of reaction from Hausen without coming off as sensationalistic. And despite what she's suffered, you don't make Madelyn out to be a saint, something which, as we've spoken about, really delights me.

This is a pretty awesome piece, overall. An interesting alternative to the typical hyper-romantic take on Hassar and Madelyn's departure from Caelin.

Dude. This story. Is. Amazing. This would be a really good piece of headcanon. Just saying.

["He did nothing."] This had to be the most powerful sentence in this entire piece.

Other things I liked:

-Mention of Lundgren, but nothing in detail.

-Hassar's broken Common.

-[Maybe the General saw them then and suspected they were in love.] This line.

And of course, the very end, mentioning the letter she writes to her father. Sad, but effective!

Great work!

Cheers,

Manna

Quite nice.