Hate to say it, but I didn't really like it. A little to many fancy words, and how the frell could John comeup with those fancy words?

Your writing style is extremely pretentious and affected to the point of being very irritating. Word pictures are not necessary and when used as much as you use them, become boring so the eyes quickly flick over them. As if this weren't enough, the analogies you use are inaccurate and don't fit the situations you are describing so they just sound very very silly. Stop trying to show off and just write plainly.

You got carried away withe more sophisticated words and it came out as crap, no offense. I've done this a few times and it does leave me really annoyed so I just skimmed it after looking up like 7 words. Fanfiction should be relaxing...not book-work. Aeryn was also completely out of character. Though I'd love to see her accept John this way, I would rather see it on her own terms and his. In this, you might as well have made a Aeryn-bot and tried to switch the two.

Wow. Your style is excellent, and even though my brain hurts too much right now to make anything even resembling a coherent comment, know that I'm truly impressed...

Your style, in theory, should be as far from 'Scape as anything... but somehow you make it work. Or maybe, in my mind, it's exactly how I envisage the J/A relationship put into words. That in itself is no easy task.

All this, and very in character, too. Is there no end to your talents?