I thought the story was amusing. There were areas that need work, but most stories do and its easier to see this in others work than your own. Still I wish that you would continue.

updates plox?

Wow cool story great writing totally funny cant say enough keep up most excellent work.

You poor, poor scrap of humanity. What could possibly drive a human being to write a self insert. I give a prayer for your poor soul:

"And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil"

Matthew 6:13

Even for a self insert this is bad. The ability to do ki attacks from animes other then Ranma 1/2 is ridiculous, and being the author does not give you access to a larger revesoir of ki then Ranma has.

Furthermore, you shouldn't be able to do techniques that Ranma didn't know at that point. The reason for this is simple.

You see someone firing a bow. You repeatably watch that person fire the bow. He then asks you to fire his bow. You fail. Why? Because there is minutae to the performance of the technique that one cannot acquire by watching.

*sigh* I know I sound like I'm bitching now, but this is quite ludicrous. I simply must say that the execution is sloppy at best.

WOW, published 04-09-02! I’m impressed! Looking forwards to chapter 3 in 2012

About the fic? Well, you are tagging a little too close for my taste, especially with Jisuse flippant and forward altitude that rightfully should have had a larger effect.

The SM cross element could have been handled better. Other SI's have done the Ranma/SM double cross before, at least since 2002, and they introduced the SM element through some amusing contrived method.

Oh well. You have a good balance between dialog and narrative, which make the fic easy to read. It's also easy to visualize what you're describing.

Cheers

The chapter...it's way too long.

pleeeaaaase hurry up and write part two! i must read more!

lol I love this fic! Please hurry with the rest!

This is sugoi!

Usually a Ranma fanfic can't interest me!

But this is another story!

Keep on writing!

0.

-DemonAni-

I haven't ever written an SI. I know people who have done so yet recovered, and lived productive lives afterwards. I admit that I would sooner cut off both my hands with a rusty saw once owned by George Dubbyah than write an SI.

The problems I have with SIs are that 1) they usually serve as wish fulfillment for people who want to be inside their favorite animes, mangas, novels, whatever, waving back at readers without any other purpose, or 2) they allow a reader to "fix" whatever seems wrong about whatever they're reading. You seem to be doing the second of these: giving Nabiki back her own line about demanding money for information, helping Ranma with Akane, etc.

Why bother inserting yourself with all sorts of godlike knowledge into the Ranma 1/2 world? It would be much more eventful and interesting if you figured out a way for Ranma and his pals to solve their own dilemnas, using their limited knowledge.

As all my work will be of the self-insertion genre, i can't criticize this TOO much. I DO, however, have to say that putting yourself in as an all knowing character takes a bit of the fun out of the story. Just because you read what happened in the manga doesn't mean it will HAVE to happen in the story. The best self insert, i believe, is the self insert where no one will realize you're in it. They'll constantly be expecting you to gain some super power and save the day, but it never happens. A classic example of "bait an switch" (give them an idea, then swap it at the last second). Consider that if you decide to continue this.

It's an interesting concept, but I don't really see it going anywhere (or, if it does, I'll be interested to see if you can keep it up). One thing, though: how the heck is this a romance?