So, i just read the whole story and it's really good. Though i really had to fight through the beginning because, let's face it your writing skills weren't that good when you started. But you improved yourself and I don't regret at all reading the whole story.

The way you describe the characters is good.
What I just really didn't like was that you made Chris and especially the kids so allmighty. As if they were capable of doing everything and oh so intelligent. Also were his relationships with the sisters in the future confusing. Sometimes it seemed as if he was neglected by everyone, than Piper was always listening to him. Some other time Pheobe was always great with him, than only Paige seemed to be the good one and then everyone loved him exept Leo.
I don't know if that was your intention or if i simply misread the parts but i thought it to be very confusing. You should stick with just one story.

Then I was confused by... well how can i express that... Shifts of the story (?) Sometimes some characters were just appearing or disappearing without being mentioned. For example... were did Paige come from in the last chapter hugging Chris and Mel? Was she there the whole time? Did she just come through the door? That was happening evry now and then and everytime I had to scroll to the beginning of the scene to look when he or she appeared but ended disappointed because there was no explanation.

A last thing that kept me unnerved reading your story was that you always seem to confuse words like there, their and they're. Call me a gramma nazi but it' s awefully exhausting to read senctences over and over again just to find out what you're trying to say.

But that aside i liked that you didn't give them a hearty pained and guilty get together. Even through sometimes I wished for it but it was great how you sweat it out until the very end. Respect.

Even though my negative criticism seems to overweight I want you to know that I really liked reading your story. Thank you for the experience.
It's just that you need to learn how to make a story flowing so that the reader can 'flow' through it while reading and can fully immerge into the story without being forced to the surface because he stumbled onto illogical or confusing things.
You can learn this only by doing so please, never give up on writing! You'll be great.
I look forward to reading more from you.

Greetings

great fanfic. :)

Great job on this.

Great start to this. :)

aww this was a great ending though Wyatt dying was sad and I hope the kids never remember what happened in the bad future. Though the letters were a nice touch, a very Chris thing to do as you said but I don't think he would of known Paige would figure him out and write in a reference.

There were two annoy things though 1 the bashing, no I wasn't really fond of Leo but that was a little much AND way too much bashing of the Charmed One they weren't nearly as bad as you made them out to be. I don't mind bashing for things they actually did but when you make up things to just make them sound horrible its cringe worthy. Otherwise the emotions you displayed made everyone seem bi-polar (and not just future ppl)

Anyway the protectiveness you wrote for Chris was well done, and I liked the relationship shown between him and little Wyatt. However Parker and Peyton were WAY over powered and not shown very well as children rather 'mini- adults'

I am curous to see whether you want to make the others remember the other timeline, such as Cole and Prue who have been in the past.

If they do remember, how? It's not like people suddenly are aware of and remember alternate timelines.

If they don't, then it would be a somewhat awkward reunion with all the people who are suppose to be dead.

I liked how the depature was kept small, and not some big send-off. Maybe you could do something similar for the future reunion? Don't bring in everybody, just the important people.

I really liked how you ended this. (Well almost). Wyatt dying, Chris's id finally revealed to those who need to know now. Everyone making it safely back to the future (as far as we know), well done. I'm so happy that I stuck with this from the beginning.

NOOOOO! How can this peace of literary heaven came to an end?
I'm ready to see a happy Chris in the epilogue, missy!

Wow, glad to see Wyatt coming around. Good job. :)

I have one word for the demons/darklighters: Idiots.

Anyway, it's good to see Chris got to see his family. Not the sisters/Leo who have hated Chris Perry, but his family who /loves/ Christopher Perry Halliwell. :)

Good chapter overall. :)

Wow, Phoebe is dumb in the fanfiction. xD

thanks,loved it...fantastic

are they both death? are those memories from the other timeline? or from the new one? so that's how chris and bianca met.

loved the chapter.

great job, it's sad that the story is coming to an end.

I just love this story. how you managed to incorporate all the future people in the episodes is truly amazing.
from forget me not to this update SO MUCH BETTER than the show.
love how you managed to solve the phantasm incident, that the COs now trust Chris (though thankfully they don't actually appear in this chapter), Chris' worry over the chickenpox, Mel and the mirror, the surveillance crystals, and the cliffhanger.

excellent!