check out

your poem is good

short but its not the best poem.

Possible changes:

Capitalization seems to be rather random

more line structure for ease of reading

Change of verb tenses make for a strange read

Punctuation is needed

On the assumption that the lack of structure is intentional, I would rate this poem as a C- or a 6 on a scale of 1-10. I believe it could be better.

Perhaps if you expanded on this metaphor and imagery. Perhaps, you can add some auditory or visual imagery. The use of dark and light is nice, however I would appreciate changes in capitalization.

It's not bad.

Perhaps it's a starting point?

I like this poem. The way it's written like a letter instead of in prose makes you pay attention to what is being said, not just how it is written. And I just love poems that are introspective. Very nice.