::trying to sound cool and detached:: So, what does Ntrophi mean anyway?..neh..never mind, it probably says on your little page anyway...::drifts off into silence:: ::suddenly screams:: I NEED Moooooore, pleasepleaseplease I'll do anything..just write more.. ::huggles Ntrophi's ankle and sniffles::

Hohahahahhahaha

its funny in places and i really did enjoy it. i especially like ur description of the hangover. but to create more humour it might b a good idea to describe the surroundings to set the scene, wot ur charcters look like and wot facial expressions they adds more character to the story and the characters themselves and certainly could add more layers of humour because of it of it.

it certainly is silly and very enjoyable. just little things i cant quite put my finger on need to be done to improve this further in how the story flows...plus short stories 99%of the time have a major twist. sorry if i seem over critical. i did enjoy it very much. it just needs tinkering with a little bit

its funny in places and i really did enjoy it. i especially like ur description of the hangover. but to create more humour it might b a good idea to describe the surroundings to set the scene, wot ur charcters look like and wot facial expressions they adds more character to the story and the characters themselves and certainly could add more layers of humour because of it of it.

it certainly is silly and very enjoyable. just little things i cant quite put my finger on need to be done to improve this further in how the story flows...plus short stories 99%of the time have a major twist. sorry if i seem over critical. i did enjoy it very much. it just needs tinkering with a little bit

LOL...um...what subtext you have going on there! Very cute. (I'm from NJ. P)

I love this series! We need more Elliot torture, though I feel rather sorry for the poor guy. I can't wait to see what you have in store for him in the future...

Oh geeze... *laughs* Poor Elliot, he really gets some of the worst of it doesn't he?

Although I admit that I liked '...Chocolate' a bit more this is probably better written and totally hilarious as well. What's next on your list? Tobacco? Spearmint? Soda? Tap water? Dental floss? You're amazing.