The moaning then whaled, "Either enter my store and purchase things or go home!"
That's hilarious! X-D
Love the use of characters and using such and original idea.
Have you published the story where Karen and Mars meet face to face?
I'd love to read it.
Keep writing!

You know...I use to be a big fan of Eerie, Indiana. Still am. So, I ask...why wasn't anything like this on the show! I have got to admit this was alot better then I thought it would be. I half expected the characters to be wrong. For Mars to at least be some kind of 'hero' guy. Maybe even...ugh god forbid...a MarsXSimmon yaoi! It wasn't and for that I am grateful! You nailed the characters and you nailed the 'Eerie' feeling. Congradulations, you have made an enjoyable and really nice fanfic about a very obscure but very enjoyable show. I didn't expect much and by the end, I felt like I had just watched a short episode. Seriously, exceptional job!

That was fun!

Feels very canon. I look forward to reading more of your stories.